Makes sense to increase it, I think.
Heads up:
I have about 58 pages left to type up for the chapter, and brain isnāt cooperating (understandable, it exhausted the power to write 60+ pages longhand).
I have NOT given up on the project, I just need to recharge.
Basically itās like
You: Letās wrap up this chapter
Brain: No!
You: Come on I need you to work with me here
Brain: No means no
You: Well this sucks. Rip my readers.
Lol hope u can figure out it soon
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Hello, my dear whelplings, hereās a partial update for you.
As health is keeping me from getting as much done as Iād like, I decided to upload what I got typed up for chapter 3 publicly now instead of once the chapter would be at a full 25k.
This update adds 5287 word (with code) to the previous partial version.
- Bugfixes
- Moving around some stats
- added option to skip the introduction to the Gods
- added a few more restricted and easter egg names
Wordcount
85k with code / 35k per playthrough
Feedback (bugs, storyflow, general impression etc) requested. Thank you.
Enjoy
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The legend came back. Been looking forward to this
Thank you so much. Itās not much but Iām trying to provide something fun ![]()
If anyone has thoughts on specific lines/bits/plot letās hear them
Im just glad its being worked on despite normal life getting in the way. Guess im gonna have to play all flights again for a recap. So far blue has been great despite the terror of a god in the MC from a certain dragon that will have to be taught a lesson later for all flights apart from black. It was fun hanging out with some of dragons from different flights.
Just completed my first play through. Always appreciate a dragon interactive fiction. This was particularly nice. Anyways here are my thoughts
Things I liked (Spoiler)
- First of all I appreciate the option of visible stat. I know it is extra coding and not everyone implements it.
- I liked the aspect of dragon name having a specific ending/surname. A small stuff like these, make story more immersive.
- I was surprised to see branching in chapter 1 (I did a retry, to check it). I always like branching. Already planing for another play through.
- I ended up liking characters. I think it is expected Alerhon to be liked by most. But I also liked Kassius. Initial I thought he was gonna be generic villain. But the interactions with him made him more than 2D character.
- Finally the world building. I was actually expecting a generic dragon story. But the world building was quite good. I liked everything. Whether it be locations or other races or politics/history. My most favourite so far is Gods lore probably.
My doubts (Spoiler)
- Why did you choose dragons to have a color and metal? While on the topic of colors I think it is the first time I am reading red dragons as diplomats. Is there any particular reason for that?
- I played as grey dragon. The interaction when I first meet my parents didnāt go as I expected. I expected them to be you know hugging and caring. They were kinda chill. Like meeting a long time nephew or something. Is this because of grey dragon nature? Or because we are kinda dead to them since we were a sacrifice?
- I noticed when describing a few dragon you mentioned them having elven form. But as a whelp do we even know what elfs are?
- When reading about gods. I noticed Eastria to be associated with Red. Shouldnāt she be associated with green?
- I got the achievement for reading about gods clockwise. Do I get one if I read anticlockwise?
- Acaz, the temporally thrown kid. Why is he not affected by abyssmal creature? I believe time and dream domains are restricted, because of abyssmal creatures.
- Does the interaction in chapter 3 also have branching depending on what type of dragon we are? Like if we are blue we meet blue siblings and red siblings if we are red?
Will look forward for future updates.
Thank you so much for this, this was very insightful.
Iāll try to answer the doubts without too big spoilers:
Summary
- The color/metal is, as silly as it may sound, simply for fun. As for the reds, that has its roots in dragon history, and grays and reds were the first to interact with mortals thousands of years back, and reds took a special liking to it, for better or worse. So did grays, but in a different angle. also for better or worse.
- They do love you dearly, though thereās still the first bit of shock and especially paddy and sari are a little weird. But donāt worry, theyāll show they are decent parents down the line :3
- Could you give me the quote, because it might be I messed up a little bit. the whelp shouldnāt use elven before seeing them at the Court. (need to double check that one too, thanks)
- Timetravel doesnāt come near the Veil, so heāll be fine. Still left his head a little scrambled, though.
- If you mean in the library, no, thatās always ace and nyra first, after meeting rhidi in the corridor.
thanks again ![]()
My bad I should have taken screenshot the quote. Usually when reading the first time I miss few stuff so I thought it might be one of those things. Still I asked the question just in case. I will try to find it my next run.
Also regarding red dragons i should have probably framed my question better. I wanted to know why did you choose red dragon to be dipolmatics and judges, when most of the media I know potray them to be evil/angry beings. Is that because of Gold metal?
Anyways thanks for answering my questions
Ah, I see what you mean.
I am not much taking a cue from DnDās dragons, but more from those of World of Warcraft (in fact, itās been the main inspiration for a lot of elements. I will be upfront about that). Granted, itās debatable how good or evil the reds are there, but in Ashenmaw usually reds are quite decent folks⦠albeit constantly overworked office-clerks if you get down to it.
Oh, also I forgot to address the achievement:
Thereās a total of four achievements connected to the Gods there good luck
Things can also play out differently with paddy and Kassias depending what god he telling us about when Kassias arrives. He isnāt a complete jerk trying to make sure we know things despite not liking us. Again it probably hatching when we werenāt supposed to or most likely rivalry between him and our caretaker. He still isnāt earning any points as a father to red MC.
Typing up more for ch3 and I have a question for you people:
Once you crossed the threshold/pool (current end of ch3) and everyone took to their dragon form, should there be a choice whether to look at the others (Vaelias, Acazabri and Rhidiyope) or to catch your breath, or should the descriptions just be there, as the descriptions of Anveras, Teialumi, Phyron and Verdamiru arenāt skippable? They are more spaced out however.
Iād wanna look
So Iād be cool with the choice or the descriptions just being there.
People get tripped up because many use D&D as a reference. Metallic dragons are seen as good, chromatic ones are seen as evil. However, this game has its own lore (based on World of Warcraft) and thus has no correlation to D&D.
This reminds me of Skyrim. If weāre going by D&D standards, Skyrim ādragonsā are actually wyvernsā¦
Iād prefer a choice. If we were playing a āF YOU!ā we wouldnāt want to look, yeah?
That is very true. It got me for a minute before I made myself remember āPenguins game, Penguins loreā.
Very fun! Here are some of my initial thoughts after a first play:
I picked green dragon, for reference. There was a kind of fun thrill in having so little information about the differences between the different colors during character creation, and Im sure that will encourage players to try different playthroughs as different dragons. However, I can also imagine some players feeling frustrated at a lack of knowing the consequence / background differences between the different colors.
Playing as a green dragon, I dont remember agerhonās two leg form every being described despite later references to what it looked like. Similarly, at the official meeting with the queen there is a reference to what agerhon taught me, which⦠did technically happen. But:
Some of the lore focused scenes run the risk of feeling like an information dump? I dont think they actually are, because you do a good job of grounding them in the playerās perspective and making it feel like description instead of a list of facts. But itās still a lot to absorb at once. I might suggest having information that is particularly plot relevant or intended to be recalled within future narrative scenes be featured in some way from the rest of the lore; such as a page break? Im not sure just brainstorming, and Ill keep a closer eye on this feeling as I continue to try out and beta.
For the record; I really want to meet Padās kid I think they will be such a great RO.
Regarding ābeing a dragonā: first off you occasionally write the PC as crossing their arms in dragon form, which I guess could be possible, but kind of lessens my immersion.
Also I have some questions about the PCās age/maturity. On one hand the PC has just hatched and has very limited experience or knowledge of the world, as well as being physically smaller than other dragons. On the other hand dragons are magical creatures and their is potential for hand-wavy explanations about maturation having been completed in the egg. It is also possible there might be a time skip planned later in the story? Whatever your plan; could you give some indication of the intended maturity that would be understandable for a human player, even just implicitly in the story. Especially considering their are planned RO including characters that present as apprentices or have working jobs/responsibilities.
Oh! I almost forgot; there is twice in the Glade when you mention Agerhon made an expression that was ānot X emotionā. I want to challenge you to do more. For example instead of writing āhe frowned but not in angerā write āhe frowned in confusionā or āhe frowned with wide eyes and a tilted headā.
This is really fun!!
