As the Sun Shines Grey [Formerly Copper's Will]

Hey!!! I’ve begun work on my new game Copper’s Will. In it, you play an eleven year old kid who is a victim of a mass kidnapping. The three issues here are

  • The kidnappers aren’t out for ransom

  • One of you is killed every week

  • The government is not coming to save you

You must therefore find a way to survive in captivity and plot your escape all the while remaining one step ahead of your captors.

The setting is a fictional island nation called Normega, the cultures, names, festivals and mannerisms are based loosely on the Igbo tribe of South Eastern Nigeria.

Currently all I have are:
Chapter One, 7000 words
Chapter Two, 10000 words
Chapter Three, 12000 words

I am planning on updating a new chapter once every month.

As I have never written before, I am interested in whatever feedback you can provide. Thank you!

The WIP is available at: https://dashingdon.com/play/petearray/coppers-will/mygame/

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There is a little bug here, when I try to look the Show Stats :thinking:

stats

Yeah, I haven’t uploaded the stats yet.

Interesting will need a save or make it easy

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I sincerely have no idea how to implement a save function right now… Will do when I learn how to

image

Interesting… Will there be a save system implemented?

Summary

image
light

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Underneath your ‘*create’ portion in your startup, type ‘*sm_init mygame | 3’ (the 3 can be changed to 5, or one or whatever, but I guess too high may cause it to get iffy). Make sure it’s before the start of your story (again, after the *create). It doesn’t pass through quicktest though so I comment it out until it’s ready to be uploaded.

Edit: Actually, here, cause I’m bad at explaining things.

*create omar false
*create aff_omar “0”

*sm_init mygame | 3

Laughter and excited screams fill the air as children run around, cotton candy or candy apples in their hands. The whoosh of the rides, the call of the carnies beckoning you to play their games, it all brings you back to your childhood, when it wasn’t just… you.

In dashingdon, in the edit details page of your game, there should be a box you can checkmark that says to use the saving system. Just make sure to tick it.

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Thanks a lot.

I’m from Nigeria and I’m an igbo so you can ask me any question about the country or tribe

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Oh my God! That’s amazing! I’ll definitely consult you if I need clarification with anything

I’m also Nigerian so just know I’m open for questions too

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Nice start, though it is going to be a long journey but in my opinion Copper’s Will has potential.

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Huh.

That was a very nice opening.
I did not expect that. Nice.

That was a very pleasant start to a story and I am actually fairly intrigued by the little world you got going on.

Some random comments now

The fact that 80% of men assuamably died when fighting the civil war from this town is quite spectacular to be honest, I’m gonna assume that the army practised the Russian tactic of running down machine gun nests with shovels.

Also I very much enjoy making my little 11 year old say such appropriate and tasteful curse words such as good old “Fuck”

Very appropriate.
Much tasteful :slight_smile:

But yes I was quite impressed by what was offered here and the world you created sounds quite cool, even though 8 million people going to war with 800 is… well a thing… those must be some stupidly broken magic powers chief.

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:joy::joy::joy::joy:… Yeah I’m still working on those numbers… The Icons are a little bit too OP right now… Will have to work on that.

But as for the 80% who didn’t make it back, most of those ones died at sea. Normega did not have a navy and just scrapped together a rag tag force… And the enemy they faced… I don’t want to spoil :sob::sob::sob::sob:

That feeling when two of Russia’s military in WW1 gets oofed on by the population of a university.
Feels bad man :frowning:

“Most died at sea”

German Uboats intensifies

I imagine That town having around a quarter to third of its pop dead would have been made running their McDonalds hard

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Oh no, not at all, or not as much as the other cities did anyway… Notice how few the people who came to greet the soldiers were. Of all the towns of Normega, Vestruz gave the least fuck about the war. They were far so far up North that they barely felt the effects, the war was fought mostly in Southern Normega where the Soulfans originally used to live before they were moved to Granitefarm where they would be surrounded on all sides by Normegan clans. It’s why after the war it was the best City your mama could find:you would not be in Granitefarm where you’ll be influenced with anti-Normegaan sentiments, and in any other Normegaan city, they might have lynched you guys :grimacing:

But I honestly will do a lot more work on the numbers. I just decided to put the WIP first, then make adjustments as we go on…

That being said, the first real chapter should be up by Sunday…

I haff majec gurd powas Dey can all fack off wry.

I’m kind of curious as to why the angry clans people attacked the magic Demi gods though.

I get that they were hungry pricks but the amount of food 800 people could make and store would be no where enough in theory to feed even a percentage of the angry people’s population.

Unless the magic lads got greedy and claimed a massive fuck off chunk of the continent that has shit tons of fertile lands or something.

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Be patient, child… All these will be revealed in due time… :innocent:

But dad :frowning:
I want spoilers now :frowning:

But I suppose I shall wait with the rest of the goons.