As Gods Fall (WIP - UPDATED 10/07 - 70k words in demo)

Hosted Games Works In Progress
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First, let me say that I really liked the amount of customisation that actually mattered in the WIP. Both when it comes to the different fantasy races/species you can choose from and how they affect your MCs’ abilities and the story and how even things like the heigh and body build of the MCs have an effect on their stats The story also seems quite interesting so far and I also quite liked the world building.

However, I have some problems with the ROs. I don’t know if talking about your problems with the ROs in WIPs is against the rules, if so, I apologise beforehand. And I will try to give my thoughts in a way that doesn’t come across as too insistent, since I know that the ROs and how they are, may often be quite personal to writers and among the things most set in stone in WIPs.

So here’s my thoughts, treat them how you will: As someone who usually goes for male MCs and never for M/M (or F/F) romances, I am particularly fond of female ROs(whether gender selectable or gender-locked) who are warrior and/or high strength/combat kind of characters. I don’t need more than one female RO to be like that in order to be happy and do also see the importance of the ROs to be varied both when it comes to their abilities and general type. I also know that I’m far from the only guy who is into those kind of female ROs(and that there are also a number of girls and women who are into such female ROs) So it is really disappointing to me to see that you’ve found no space for female ROs who are like that, instead only having one high intelligence and one high social skills female RO. When both the male ROs, on the other hand, are high strength and combat warrior types, this becomes doubly frustrating.

I’m obviously not in the target audience for the male ROs, but to me they seem quite similar. Both seem to be big brawns over brains bruiser-types warriors. Though I’m not denying that there are plenty of women and gay and bi/pan men who are into those kind of ROs, from what I’ve heard there are also at least some women and also some gay/bi/pan men who aren’t, which means that they are likely to be as frustrated as me at the lack of the kind of male ROs that they’re into. Though, like I said, I’m not in the target audience when it comes to them as ROs, I know that the ROs tend to also be the main NPCs in COGs, HGs and WIPs, which means that the MC will interact with them regularly and I do like to have possible “bros” that aren’t all warrior types and really distinct from one another. Also, when it comes to the female ROs, though there seem to be clear differences in their abilities and background, they also seem to be quite similar in some ways, by both being quite cold or at least emotionally distant, head rather than the heart and brains and deliberation rather than brawn and impulsive action kind of characters.

So , though I know it’s your WIP and it’s up to you to decide how to make it, my fond hope for it is that you’ll eventually mix things up a bit with the ROs, like by also introducing a female RO who is also a big and impulsive bruiser-type and a male RO who is a more deliberate brains rather than brawn kind of character. Or, if that is out of the question, maybe mixing things up more for the existing ROs so there’s not so much a divide between cold and deliberate brains rather than brawn female ROs and impulsive brawn rather than brains fighter male ROs.

I did go into much more detail about what I didn’t like about this WIP than what I did like about it, but just to be clear, this doesn’t mean that this adds up to how much weight I give them compared to one another. But it did mean that what I didn’t like and why didn’t like seemed to require a longer explanation than what I did like

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For starters I appreciate you going more in detail about the negatives you see rather than wasting time on positives. Also your worry is only partially warranted because of how vaguely I described the ROs and how little time you had to spend with them, so let me use this as an opportunity to go a bit more into them and then you’ll see how you feel about them.

Let’s start with the female ones and more specifically Paoni who is an answer to your problem. For starters she is 112 when you meet her (a vampires average lifespan is around 270-280 years). Her youth was spent in the times of war just before Citadel city was founded and in those times she worked as a spy and assassin. During the official founding of the city she managed to slip her way into the main management for the city using what resources she acquired through blood. At the time you meet her she is rather tired of the comfortable life and looks for an opportunity to get out. She will get it as part of her side story which you will embark on (all 4 ROs have a smaller story attached to them that will go on alongside your investigation), but the rest is naturally spoilers.

In a shorter way for other ROS to not make it an essay comparatively:

Eri is much more “what you see is what you get” where she is a brains first people second kind of gal, but her strive for knowledge comes at a price and the bill will soon come due.

While both Coren and Mesar do fill the warrior archetype (for gameplay reasons as they’re both at certain points meant to be there to make sure a less physical MC doesn’t get their asses whooped), they do differ as people.

Mesar is closer to a gentle giant archetype with how much more of a truly open book in how naively optimistic to the point of childish he can be. This stems from both his age (20 years old) and a rarely seen in the city comfortable upbringing.

Meanwhile Coren is a much more troubled soul with how his life went along. He is much more competitive because his environment forced him to always be at the top of his game. He is also much less open about what the very few things he truly cares about, but masks it by being obvious about the surface level stuff.

I hope this explains how I balanced the ROs around. The 4 of them are meant to to fulfill a specific collection of aspects, which dictates their personalities and to a lesser extend roles in the plot. I do not think gender swapping them around is necessary and making them gender selectable would bring about even more coding to do which would bloat the game even further than all its current systems do. It was a decision to sacrifice that option in order to make player customization matter more.

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Just here to say Paoni is honestly the RO I’m looking forward to and think the ROs are fine as is. My only worry is that because Coren is our partner, we’re gonna have to spend the majority of the time with him and Paoni and the other ROs will get significantly less “screentime” compared to him.

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Eri seems like she’d be helpful from a technical standpoint so consulting with her looks like something that’s going to happen very often, and with the side quests for each character, the screentime issue shouldn’t be too much of a problem

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In the side stories sure, but in the main story of the game he’s gonna be there significantly more along with his own side story compared to the rest of the ROs.

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Hey Rex, so I like the setting of the story it really captured my attention.

I like the map of the Citadel especially the different colors of the district; I’m wondering in the future will we get to know what each district is on the map?

Also, I found a bug where when we meet Coren and when Muinol tells him to remind us of that one event we did wrong: I chose “was sent on a wild chase by a werecat” and it reduced my strength instead of my dexterity.

All the other choices reduce their targeted stats. I don’t know if it’s my race, I chose to be a werewolf.

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Yes, he is going to have somewhat more screen time than other ROs, but I am hoping to instead of worrying about evening out their time make sure they all get enough screen time on their own as characters.

Nope that was a bug, but it’s fixed now. Good catch and it will be a part of today’s small code update.

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Welp, You had me at werewolf. But shapeshifter sealed the deal.

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Played the demo last night; it seemed interesting.

Nice characters, a good stat system, and a mysterious setting that piqued my attention.

Hope to see more of it in the future.

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Okay, so I like it so far. I even added it to my bookmarks. I will say though, it kinda surprises me that werewolf wouldn’t start off with at least
-10 strength
-10 intimidation
-6 sense ( I mean It’s a werewolf, they could probably naturally read the signs and or just smell if something was off, due to their species).
-4 or 5 charisma ( Then again, I probably only think charisma would be a tad bit higher, due to bias lol)

Can’t wait to see where this goes.

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Thanks for the feedback and I’m glad you enjoyed it.

The races are balanced around an RPG like system which means all races start with the same initial stat total. It is somewhat immersion breaking if one builds a fairy into a strength build, but that is up to the player if they wish to do that similar to how it is in traditional games and I don’t think this choice should be taken away.

Also werewolves do posses bonuses which go along with what you are mentioning. A passive bonus of +2 to perception and a +5 to intimidation to offset their low charisma and lean into their size and menacing look. As well as ‘Berserker’ active ability which is meant to the the most impactful active in later stages of the game given it’s the only one that scales by percentage off your strength and dexterity instead of it being a flat bonus.

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Can a vampire race be added?

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It is so far the most requested race so it is not impossible. But such additions would most likely take place later on. For now I’m focusing on the story and mechanics themselves.

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No problem story first, but an alternative I thought of is if you start as human and romance Paoni, she could turn you on her story.

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Vampires do not turn in this universe. They are a separate species that’s biologically similar to how vampires are depicted hence me using the name for ease of understanding, but they are not turned humans or other races. They reproduce “traditionally” for the sake of not going too much into detail.

Many races have their names taken from pop culture instead of giving them original names to make it easier to the reader to imagine how they look like and more or less how they behave but there are some differences. Demons don’t come from hell, Fairies aren’t tiny etc.

As a fun piece of trivia: The shapeshifter race of formis were called slimes in their very first draft as this is what their true biology is based most closely on. As I kept pinging ideas in my head about how they would function they moved so far from what a reader usually sees when the word slime is used that they needed a new original name to avoid larger confusion.

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Part of me feels like you should’ve taken the slime example and come up with new names for the others as well, partially to lessen confusion and partially just because it would’ve been interesting

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Ah I understand, hopefully you’ll have time to add it later.

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I am still considering it. It is not too late for doing something like this, but it is a matter of deciding which will result in less overall confusion. Also I am bad at names

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When, in doubt, use butchered Latin

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This might work for formis because their society is almost centered around taking from other cultures, but not for other races that have their own languages, cultures and everything else so their names should reflect that. Especially when the Twelve already use names taken from Latin.

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