Hey everyone! I’ve been on here for a while, mostly being a lurker.
I wanted to get some feedback on a project of mine from the community. This project started out as a way for me to better my Choicescript coding skills, a writing/creative exercise, and something to do for fun.
I’m pretty much a noob when it comes to coding and writing so please bear with me. Hopefully as I continue to write and code I will get better.
BTW just a warning, the updates for this game will probably be erratic.
Premise
On a dark and stormy night you stand on a rooftop overlooking the city. Criminals roam the streets looking for trouble. But not on your watch for you are a superhero, a protector of the city. Fighting crime and keeping the city safe. Or at least on TV anyway.
In reality you are an actor that got a shot at playing a well known superhero from the comics. Bringing the character and the world from the comics into real life in the form of a live action TV series. But one day you wake up to find that everything is not as it once was. Your life now resembles that of the character you play on TV! Your previous life replaced with the name, origin story, and job of the character you play. No evidence of your previous life having ever existed. What happened? Are you going crazy? Is this all a dream? Will you ever be able to go back?
I’m experimenting a little with the format of the game and would like some feedback on it. I wrote it in the format of a screenplay, or at least I tried to but I kept getting indent errors so it didn’t exactly turn out the way I want to.
I’ve written a bit of the beginning in the traditional and screenplay formats and wanted some feedback on the screenplay format first before I continue writing in it. Do you like it? Should I change it?
Of course other feedback relating to my grammar,writing, coding and etc. is also wanted and appreciated.
Well… this is too short to actually give feedback on, but I want to say that I love the script format! And I don’t think it’s been done before. (I’ve tried writing a script too so I know it can be fun.)
And from that short demo, you’ve actually shown me that third person can be fun to read too.
I’d say the beginning where you choose the names is a bit confusing though, since you ask for three names consecutively. It might be nicer to space them and or give a few “preset” names.
Huh well I’m a sucker for a good superhero story and while the demo is a little short to comment on like @Franzinyte said I’ve got to say you’ve got a great idea here and I for one would love to see more of it. Looking forward to any future updates
It is a bit short to give feedback on, but the idea seems interesting! Like @Franzinyte I also think it might be better to give a selection of names to choose from (just because I’m terrible at thinking of names myself, aha). The screenplay format is different, although I think I should see more of it before giving a definite comment on it. So far, so good though!
The demo was definitely short, I just wanted to test the format and see how everyone liked it. I had started with a more traditional format and am currently redoing what I’ve written in the screenplay format.
I also forgot to add in that I wanted some suggestions for the title of the game. The current one is just a placeholder (unless everyone thinks it’s fine as is.)
Videohead, Enforced Method, Trapped in tvland, Imaginaut
Oh it would be helpful to know, what kind of tv show/superhero is one the table here?
The appropriate superhero name would be different for a grim gritty street level vigilante ala Daredevil, than a comedy about a supremely powerful superhero dealing with his social life ala My Hero.
Very interesting concept! I’m curious to see where it will go from here. The screenplay styling is definitely unique, and seems promising. I have always been a fan of the superhero genre, and look forward to your story’s progress.
Well I feel the script is funny lol
And to say in the last part if I said stay calm then how " proceed to freak out matches I was calm it should be like start to freak out " and Definitely a good story can be lot more fun and the concept is kind of new , I love super hero stuff.
