An Angel's Song (Story Update: 24/03/21)

Summary

In the forest of Bres an otherworldly sickness corrodes the soil and changes the creatures within. “A parting gift from the fallen angels,” say the citizens of the Hyaku Region and the mark on your hand confirms it.

Though the scent travelling in the air is sweet and enticing, everyone knows better than to get closer. But the mark, it pulses, it burns, the pain spreading as fast as the corruption of the forest does.

Your masters are calling, and it seems like this time you cannot escape them.

Features
  • Explore Kyou, a japanese inspired country, and discover the secret behind the sickness corroding the land.
  • Choose from four different animals (serpent, dragon, wolf, cat) to make your familiar. Each of them has a different personality.
  • Romance a forgotten childhood friend, a headstrong knight, a runaway performer or a fellow witch.
  • Find a way to erase the mark on your hand once and for all, or perish trying.
  • Become Kyou’s hero, or its tyrant.
  • To be implemented: Receive letters from your allies.
  • A test page from which you can alter stats.
  • More features may be added as I continue to write the story.
ROs

I pulled two tarot cards for each character, it’s more or less accurate.

mini portraits miwa
Miwa Imamura | Strenght in reverse, 6 of wands in reverse

“You are, love, my will to laugh, the goodbye I won’t know how to say, because I’ll never be able to live without you” Tú - Shakira

A runaway performer. Her smile serves to hide all the secrets beneath. Has a pleasant demeanor and knack for getting into trouble. With her around there are no uneventful days.

Hazuki Tamashiro | Death, 6 of swords in reverse

“You and I, maybe it’s not so illogical. Tell me it’s not.” Dime que no - Jesse & Joy

Lord Sakuma Tamashiro’s firstborn. He, much like you, has demon blood, though its dark divinity has long since faded.

Hazuki tends to be kind and patient, raised in near seclusion to be a husband and not his father’s successor, however, when around Masami you can see traces of who he really is; a mischievous vein, immature even.

Klaus/Katja Rassé | Death, 5 of wands
|He|She|They|

“He knows no one shines forever, they change with the weather.” On the Arrow - AFI

K is a vampire from the country of Aveli, recently moved to Kyou. They have an arrogant streak, a charming wit and some unfinished business involving your person. Some could say K has a dying wish, and they wouldn’t be wrong.

It is in your power whether to use them to your advantage or nudge them into a different path.
masa
Masami/Masaru Shiraishi | 5 of swords, the sun
| She | He |
“'Till now, I always got by on my own. I never really cared until I met you.” Alone - Heart

Yamato Shiraishi’s child and Hazuki’s retainer (and unwilling spouse-to-be).

Known for being stubborn, headstrong and fiercely loyal. Will not hesitate to attack when presented with an opponent or potential threat to their newfound friends, though we all know they secretly enjoy all the adventuring and fighting that ensues.

Possible extra RO: Konoe | 7 of cups rev, judgment rev

“I fell for you like autumn leaves, never faded, evergreen.” Beating Heart - Ellie Goulding

Konoe is the image of the proper lady: quiet, poised, beautiful. And that’s where the image ends. Honest to a fault, proud and curious to boot, her unusual upbriging makes her a rather interesting companion.

About update frequency

The demo will be most likely updated once the chapter is finished. If you want to get earlier access to the chapters, consider becoming a patron!

The thread, on the other hand, will be updated depending on thread activity (I don’t want to fill it with only my own posts to the point it seems like I’m spamming) and progress made during the week. Monthly progress reports guaranteed!

Do follow my tumblr for sketches and occasional extras (along with the weekly updates). Also you can ask me questions if you’d like.

Beta vs. Alpha

There are two version of the game available, the Alpha version and the Beta version.
Alpha

  • Only available to tier 2 patrons and above.
  • Monthly story updates.
  • May contain placeholders of new mechanics.
  • May be a bit buggier than Beta.

Beta

  • Free
  • Updates happen less often, but once it is updated, the update will most likely be very long and you will be able to play uninterrupted.

|Beta Demo|

Last story update in Beta: 24/2/2021

Total Word count: 106769 words (exc. code)

  • Chapter 1: Festival of souls
  • Chapter 2: A night without moonlight
  • Chapter 3: A figure looms in the dark (Editing second half :pen:)
  • Chapter 4 (Outlining)

Extra Links
|Tumblr| |Patreon| |Ko-Fi|

The story is set, as you’ll find out, on a Japanese inspired country named Kyou, following our MC as they attempt to survive the pursuits of the demon that marked them, the servants of the Goddess, unsympathetic humans and avoid being consumed by the osen.

This is a standalone book.

In regards to feedback:

  • Are there any typos? Weird phrases? Confusing paragraphs? (I know there are too many commas, I’m trying to remove some of them.)
  • Do things make sense, based on the information presented to you? Do things happen out of order? Do characters forget about previous events?
  • Are there any pages that are perhaps too long? Or paragraphs that need to be broken down?
  • Other suggestions are appreciated.
336 Likes

I like the story so far, I am curious where this goes, looking forward to it :smiley:

but… There seems to be a problem with the “Catch a prize” portion of the game.
First, the choice “luck’s on my side” summons a prompt, the game then freezes completely right after and needs to be refreshed. Another, when you choose to “win the pouch” another prompt appears and the game also crashes. I keep forgetting to take a SS before I restart so… Lol!

2 Likes

Thank you for reading! I found the bug and fixed it. It should work now.

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I am definitely intrigued, lots of interesting elements mixed in here.
I was very quickly immersed as well which doesn’t happen often.
Excited for whatever comes next, good luck!

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Great idea :+1: Though, I wonder whether or not we can control our mark or things connected to our mark? Good luck!:blush:

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Very nice! I really like the setting you have going on! And man the “Have you tried lemons?” option put a giant smirk on my face. Will definitely keep an eye on this one.

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Hi,

I’m just a few screens into chapter 1 of this game, but I wanted to tell you that its fantastic. You have an incredibly cinematic writing style that really makes descriptions feel life-like.

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Just reminding you that taint is a crude term for a specific private area of the human body!

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Found this.

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Thank you for the bug reports! I fixed them. Now it should be good. Hopefully.

In regards to the word taint: Do you guys think I should change it? Maybe I should create a poll? From my understanding, the intended use of the word is still correct, but I wonder if maybe it ruins the mood of the story to see it be repeated over and over when it also has a more, eh, vulgar meaning.

Regardless, I can’t change the name of the topic, but I can change the word in the story.

Also, thank you all for reading! I’m glad you liked it.

@Mei_Hiroshi As in powers related to the mark? Maybe! We’ll see when we get there.

@CynicalCream You liked it? I actually wondered if maybe it was a bit random, but I’m glad to know it achieved its purpose :blush:

@will I actually had no idea about this, thank you for telling me. :sweat_smile: Did it ruin the story for you? Do you think it should be changed?

2 Likes

There was an RPG that came out about ten years ago called “Two Worlds”, which involved a fantasy kingdom getting infested by “The Taint”. It received quite a lot of online mockery for this. (Dragon Age seems to have got away with it, though!). You might want to think about renaming, or your game might get the same reaction. I have to say that, when I saw your title, the rude meaning was the first thing I thought of, but that might just be because I have a childish and dirty mind!

5 Likes

Hey there! You have a very interesting concept and from the short while I’ve played, I liked the demo. Unfortunately, I couldn’t finish it because of a game breaking bug:
When I play catch a prize, select the pouch, and scoop the object quickly, I get this message when I click on “next”:
" chapter1 line 1100: nothing should appear on a line after ‘else’: (prize=“pouch”) "
After that, I can’t click anymore and I’m forced to refresh.
Moreover, when I refresh (or restart entirely), I go back to the Festival ouf Souls, but my stats and contamination are reset. And well, even closing and opening my browser again won’t help.
Since I don’t want to play with my stats suddenly neutral again, I’d rather wait for this to be corrected before I finish the demo
I’d also love for the demo to have save states - makes testing the various paths easier and could probably have avoided being stuck like I was, in case of a bug when restarting.

I’ll give proper feedback when I’ll be able to finish the demo! Good luck with the pesky bug!

EDIT: oh, and I like the word taint? I see no reason to change it, but you’re the author!

3 Likes

@Konoi fixed it! I’ll play a few times to make sure, just in case, and will also look into implementing save states. Thank you for playing!

Edit: Added the save states too!

@Schliemannsghost So that’s where I got the name from! I knew I heard it somewhere before. Well, I mean, I’m not allowed to change the name of the topic though, I think I need a higher rank for that, otherwise I would have changed it already :sweat_smile: Of all the names I could have chosen…

I’ll brainstorm a new name. Maybe something more japanese sounding?

2 Likes

I don’t understand, what’s wrong with the word taint?

The original meaning of the word, from my understanding, is “contaminate or pollute”. Urban dictionary, however, lists another meaning, more vulgar in nature.

I don’t live in an english speaking country so maybe that’s why I never heard it used in that context.

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Just looked it up, I’ve never seen it been used that way. I don’t think it needs to change personally.

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I enjoyed this! I don’t really have any “complaints” or anything. I personally think the use of the word “taint” is fine, as I’ve always seen it as something soiled, corrupted, etc. Of course, it’s up to you if you want to change it. I kind of wish “have you tried lemons” thing was said in a snarky tone, like “Oh! So you’re gonna sneak up on me and threaten me? Please. I’m gonna make you wish you had lemons on your person. :triumph:” Still, it was fun to catch him off guard. I look forward to updates!

7 Likes

Hi, I really enjoyed your WIP, I don’t normally comment but the premise and tone of the story really caught my eye!

I, personally, don’t think anything is wrong with the name (As someone with a sewer mind I’m actually surprised that I didn’t even notice the other meaning of “taint”) but I can see your concern. If it does bother you maybe you could change it to "Tainted"?

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Thanks for the fixes! I’ve properly finished the demo now!

But aah, it’s short - it leaves me frustrated!
Overall, I like the writing style, and the premises are great, as I said, but it’s hard to leave very elaborate feedback with so little things to go with.
I fell in love with the guy you meet in the forest - that’s Klaus, right?
I really like the fact you don’t even know the name of the MC at the point the demo stops. I think it really adds to the feeling of loneliness the character has - for one to play a full chapter and not even NEED to know what’s their character’s name… that’s telling a lot. And it’s so sad.
Will we be able to select the hair color and style though? And if yes, will we only be able to select from a gradient of browns, grey and black, considering the setting, or will you allow more freedom?

Now I’m hyped for updates! Good luck with the project!

4 Likes

Well, I will leave the name alone for now, but will keep in mind a possible change whenever I’m allowed to change it.

@PrismaticSpace Thank you for reading! I’ll try to come up with snarky responses for next chapter. Never been good at that sort of thing but hopefully I’ll make it work.

@Chancen Maybe it could work for the title, but I would still need to come up with a new name to describe the illness. Still, thank you for your suggestion :blush:

@Konoi Yes, that is Klaus. Unfortunately, it’ll be some time before you see him again.
I kept trying to add in an option for names but I didn’t want to force it. And yes, you will be able to choose hair color, skin color and clothing next chapter. Hair dyes are actually pretty popular (and expensive) in this world, so you’ll be able to choose any color you like. I didn’t think about hairstyles but I’ll add in an option for that too.

Thank you for reading!

3 Likes