An Angel's Song (Demo updated: 13/09/2020 - Ch. 2)

Summary

In the forest of Bres an otherworldly sickness corrodes the soil and changes the creatures within. “A parting gift from the fallen angels” say the citizens of the Hyaku Region and the mark on your hand confirms it.

Though the scent travelling in the air is sweet and enticing everyone knows better than to get closer. But the mark, it pulses, it burns, the pain spreading as fast as the corruption of the forest does.

Your masters are calling, and it seems like this time you cannot escape them.

ROs


I pulled two tarot cards for each character, it’s more or less accurate.

Asha Imamura | Strenght in reverse, 6 of wands in reverse

“You are, love, my will to laugh, the goodbye I won’t know how to say, because I’ll never be able to live without you” Tú - Shakira

A runaway performer. Her smile serves to hide all the secrets beneath. Has a pleasant demeanor and knack for getting into trouble. With her around there are no uneventful days.

Hazuki Tamashiro | Death, 6 of swords in reverse

“You and I, maybe it’s not so illogical. Tell me it’s not.” Dime que no - Jesse & Joy

Lord Sakuma Tamashiro’s firstborn. He, much like you, has demon blood, though its dark divinity has long since faded.

Hazuki tends to be kind and patient, raised in near seclusion to be a husband and not his father’s successor, however, when around Masami you can see traces of who he really is; a mischievous vein, immature even.

Klaus Rassé | Death, 5 of wands

“He knows no one shines forever, they change with the weather.” On the Arrow - AFI

Klaus is a vampire from Aveli, recently moved to Kyou. He has an arrogant streak, a charming wit and some unfinished business involving your person. Some could say he has a dying wish, and they wouldn’t be wrong.

It is in your power whether to use him to your advantage or nudge him into a different path.

Masami Shiraishi | 5 of swords, the sun

“'Till now, I always got by on my own. I never really cared until I met you.” Alone - Heart

Yamato Shiraishi’s daughter and Hazuki’s retainer (and unwilling fiancee).

Masami is stubborn, headstrong and fiercely loyal. She will not hesitate to attack when presented with an opponent or potential threat to her newfound friends, though we all know she secretly enjoys all the adventuring and fighting that ensues.

Possible extra RO: Konoe | 7 of cups rev, judgment rev

“I fell for you like autumn leaves, never faded, evergreen.” Beating Heart - Ellie Goulding

Konoe is the image of the proper lady: quiet, poised, beautiful. And that’s where the image ends. Honest to a fault, she has already decided that she hates you, though she continues to help and subsequently deny she has any modicum of affection towards you.

Since she has not been written into the game yet her personality may end up changing.

About update frequency

The demo will be updated either when I reach the midpoint of the chapter or when it’s finally finished. My writing process is very messy, so I can’t really update the demo all the time because I always change my plans while writing. Not to mention debugging and implementing takes more time than it’s worth for things that I may end up deleting.

The thread, on the other hand, will receive weekly updates, accompanied by some out of context phrases to give you a glimpse into what will happen in the chapter.

Do follow my tumblr for sketches and occasional extras (along with the weekly updates for those who don’t check the forum very often). Also you can ask me questions if you’d like.

|Demo|

Last update: 13/09/2020

Minor fixes: 22/09/2020

Total Word count: 66900 words (exc. code)

  • Chapter 1: Festival of souls (17205 words exc. code)
  • Chapter 2: A night without moonlight (48942 words exc. code)
  • Chapter 3: A figure looms in the dark (In progress :pen:)

Extra Links
|Tumblr| |Twitter| |Patreon|

The story is set, as you’ll find out, on a Japanese inspired country named Kyou, following our MC as they attempt to survive the pursuits of the demon that marked them, the servants of the Goddess, unsympathetic humans, and avoid being consumed by the osen.

This is a standalone book, there will be no sequels, however, I have many ideas for future installments set in the same universe, along with some traditional novels set in this universe, but modern.

In regards to feedback: because my main language is spanish I’m used to following spanish rules for grammar and the like, so don’t be afraid to tell me when a phrase is weird or if I fail to get my point across.

211 Likes

I like the story so far, I am curious where this goes, looking forward to it :smiley:

but… There seems to be a problem with the “Catch a prize” portion of the game.
First, the choice “luck’s on my side” summons a prompt, the game then freezes completely right after and needs to be refreshed. Another, when you choose to “win the pouch” another prompt appears and the game also crashes. I keep forgetting to take a SS before I restart so… Lol!

2 Likes

Thank you for reading! I found the bug and fixed it. It should work now.

1 Like

I am definitely intrigued, lots of interesting elements mixed in here.
I was very quickly immersed as well which doesn’t happen often.
Excited for whatever comes next, good luck!

2 Likes

Great idea :+1: Though, I wonder whether or not we can control our mark or things connected to our mark? Good luck!:blush:

2 Likes

Very nice! I really like the setting you have going on! And man the “Have you tried lemons?” option put a giant smirk on my face. Will definitely keep an eye on this one.

2 Likes

Hi,

I’m just a few screens into chapter 1 of this game, but I wanted to tell you that its fantastic. You have an incredibly cinematic writing style that really makes descriptions feel life-like.

1 Like

Just reminding you that taint is a crude term for a specific private area of the human body!

4 Likes

Found this.

1 Like

Thank you for the bug reports! I fixed them. Now it should be good. Hopefully.

In regards to the word taint: Do you guys think I should change it? Maybe I should create a poll? From my understanding, the intended use of the word is still correct, but I wonder if maybe it ruins the mood of the story to see it be repeated over and over when it also has a more, eh, vulgar meaning.

Regardless, I can’t change the name of the topic, but I can change the word in the story.

Also, thank you all for reading! I’m glad you liked it.

@Mei_Hiroshi As in powers related to the mark? Maybe! We’ll see when we get there.

@CynicalCream You liked it? I actually wondered if maybe it was a bit random, but I’m glad to know it achieved its purpose :blush:

@will I actually had no idea about this, thank you for telling me. :sweat_smile: Did it ruin the story for you? Do you think it should be changed?

2 Likes

There was an RPG that came out about ten years ago called “Two Worlds”, which involved a fantasy kingdom getting infested by “The Taint”. It received quite a lot of online mockery for this. (Dragon Age seems to have got away with it, though!). You might want to think about renaming, or your game might get the same reaction. I have to say that, when I saw your title, the rude meaning was the first thing I thought of, but that might just be because I have a childish and dirty mind!

4 Likes

Hey there! You have a very interesting concept and from the short while I’ve played, I liked the demo. Unfortunately, I couldn’t finish it because of a game breaking bug:
When I play catch a prize, select the pouch, and scoop the object quickly, I get this message when I click on “next”:
" chapter1 line 1100: nothing should appear on a line after ‘else’: (prize=“pouch”) "
After that, I can’t click anymore and I’m forced to refresh.
Moreover, when I refresh (or restart entirely), I go back to the Festival ouf Souls, but my stats and contamination are reset. And well, even closing and opening my browser again won’t help.
Since I don’t want to play with my stats suddenly neutral again, I’d rather wait for this to be corrected before I finish the demo
I’d also love for the demo to have save states - makes testing the various paths easier and could probably have avoided being stuck like I was, in case of a bug when restarting.

I’ll give proper feedback when I’ll be able to finish the demo! Good luck with the pesky bug!

EDIT: oh, and I like the word taint? I see no reason to change it, but you’re the author!

3 Likes

@Konoi fixed it! I’ll play a few times to make sure, just in case, and will also look into implementing save states. Thank you for playing!

Edit: Added the save states too!

@Schliemannsghost So that’s where I got the name from! I knew I heard it somewhere before. Well, I mean, I’m not allowed to change the name of the topic though, I think I need a higher rank for that, otherwise I would have changed it already :sweat_smile: Of all the names I could have chosen…

I’ll brainstorm a new name. Maybe something more japanese sounding?

2 Likes

I don’t understand, what’s wrong with the word taint?

The original meaning of the word, from my understanding, is “contaminate or pollute”. Urban dictionary, however, lists another meaning, more vulgar in nature.

I don’t live in an english speaking country so maybe that’s why I never heard it used in that context.

1 Like

Just looked it up, I’ve never seen it been used that way. I don’t think it needs to change personally.

4 Likes

I enjoyed this! I don’t really have any “complaints” or anything. I personally think the use of the word “taint” is fine, as I’ve always seen it as something soiled, corrupted, etc. Of course, it’s up to you if you want to change it. I kind of wish “have you tried lemons” thing was said in a snarky tone, like “Oh! So you’re gonna sneak up on me and threaten me? Please. I’m gonna make you wish you had lemons on your person. :triumph:” Still, it was fun to catch him off guard. I look forward to updates!

7 Likes

Hi, I really enjoyed your WIP, I don’t normally comment but the premise and tone of the story really caught my eye!

I, personally, don’t think anything is wrong with the name (As someone with a sewer mind I’m actually surprised that I didn’t even notice the other meaning of “taint”) but I can see your concern. If it does bother you maybe you could change it to "Tainted"?

2 Likes

Thanks for the fixes! I’ve properly finished the demo now!

But aah, it’s short - it leaves me frustrated!
Overall, I like the writing style, and the premises are great, as I said, but it’s hard to leave very elaborate feedback with so little things to go with.
I fell in love with the guy you meet in the forest - that’s Klaus, right?
I really like the fact you don’t even know the name of the MC at the point the demo stops. I think it really adds to the feeling of loneliness the character has - for one to play a full chapter and not even NEED to know what’s their character’s name… that’s telling a lot. And it’s so sad.
Will we be able to select the hair color and style though? And if yes, will we only be able to select from a gradient of browns, grey and black, considering the setting, or will you allow more freedom?

Now I’m hyped for updates! Good luck with the project!

4 Likes

Well, I will leave the name alone for now, but will keep in mind a possible change whenever I’m allowed to change it.

@PrismaticSpace Thank you for reading! I’ll try to come up with snarky responses for next chapter. Never been good at that sort of thing but hopefully I’ll make it work.

@Chancen Maybe it could work for the title, but I would still need to come up with a new name to describe the illness. Still, thank you for your suggestion :blush:

@Konoi Yes, that is Klaus. Unfortunately, it’ll be some time before you see him again.
I kept trying to add in an option for names but I didn’t want to force it. And yes, you will be able to choose hair color, skin color and clothing next chapter. Hair dyes are actually pretty popular (and expensive) in this world, so you’ll be able to choose any color you like. I didn’t think about hairstyles but I’ll add in an option for that too.

Thank you for reading!

3 Likes