So… I played a little bit of your game. Admittedly, I didn’t finish it. So maybe take what I say with a grain of salt.
I like the idea you got going on here. It’s interesting and I’m a sucker for romance. But I’ll be lying if I say I’m not confused. I am so lost. I really need a map here. I know that I like looking at it but I don’t know what I’m looking at. It’s vague and has an “art house” feel to it… the feeling of “there’s a higher and deeper meaning but you’re too simple minded to understand this.” I mean- if that’s what you’re going for, cheers. Power to you and you did it splendid. If not then… idk man, it’s like I’m lost at an ikea and all the signs are in Swedish.
I really think you need to slow down and properly flesh out your world and lore. I have no clue about the “laws” of the world you set or how things work. The story keeps on throwing terms or “logic” at me, as if I was supposed to know this stuff already. It’s kinda like you’re pulling things out of thin air and I just have to go along with it. Fuck, I don’t even know what a “psionisist”. I was hoping someone in the story would explain what that role is but nope. We just… kept steamrolling through as if it was normal. I ended up googling what a psionisist was and google replied back to me with: “wtf?” I think psionisist is supposed to be a class in DnD? If google guessed correctly. If it’s correct, then it would make sense for why there’s runes. Btw, about runes- When one of the random soulmates mentions runes, I was so confused. I thought this was a sci-fi story, not fantasy. The summary really doesn’t tell you what you’re in-store for the game. I want to say “please make the story more clear” but I’m really not sure if you’re going for an “art house” approach. I think taking time to explain the lore and how the universe functions can do wonders for the reader. Because right now? It’s a lot of A=B but not explaining why.
Dialogue is stiff. Like… really stiff. English isn’t your first language, is it? It’s not accusatory or anything! But the stiffness is pointing to a non-native speaker. At first, I was kinda vibing with it because it’s sci-fi and I was thinking everyone was robots. But then I reminded myself that no… some people are supposed to be human. Which made the dialogue weird to read. There were no contractions, no slangs, no anything. It was uncanny and made it hard to tell that it wasn’t the same person talking each time. Again, no shame if English isn’t your first language! Maybe have an editor to help?
Finally coding. There were some gender mix ups when I was reading. Too many for me to screenshot and post. I was playing with a male soulmate and there were too many pronoun mixes. I‘m sure lots of people will point them out. But one that will probably be overlooked was the blue room AI video tapes thing. It was the memory with the hugging and meeting the soulmate. You wrote “feminine form” which is weird for a guy soulmate… unless you’re implying that it’s a feminine guy. Cool, should probably plainly state that. A really glaring code error was in one of the choices. It was when blue soulmate and player were drinking at the bar. Blue dropped their drink. The code for their name to “heal them” was a mess.
Aaaand yeah. I like the game even though I don’t understand what’s going on. But that’s the same reason why I stopped reading. So… yeah.