Thanks for at least trying. Even if you just implement a pronoun switch and replace every version of breasts with chest, beautiful with handsome, curves with muscles, perfume with aftershave, little black dress with tuxedo, or something it’s a step in the right direction. It may end up being the silliest looking romance scene you can imagine, but at least you tried.
@fairygodfeather have you ever watched torchwood the male lead is bisexual and they manage to portray him as the guy every guy wishes they were I’m a heterosexual guy and I’ll admit that I had a small man crush on him, @kirrim if you have the chance to watch the show it just seems to change the stereotype of gays/bisexuals well it did for me it might just give the little spark for how you do the characters in your game
Shoot…If anyone watches how I met your mother…Barney…The guy who sleeps around with every woman…Is gay in real life…and married
Kirrim
64
Not trying to be rude or nothing, but if y’all are gonna comment can y’all atleast include what you think of the game so far? I hope noone takes that the wrong way.
I know y’all mean to help with those recommendations, but when I saw 2 new comments I had hoped they would include opinions of the demo.
Hah, I understand your frustrations and I can relate to having them too. The problem we both have is that there isn’t a whole lot for them to judge atm. I love the way the story is going so far, and it seems like your setting things up nicely. Can’t wait until you update the paths ;). I did’t check out your stats screen yet, but people love pretty stats screens lol. If you find the time, work on that XD.
I think its best you stick with what you are comfortable with writing as @Havenstone said, the writting will be better if you can get into it
And the demo is great keep it up =D>
@Assassin3006 I do love Torchwood. I’d love to see a Torchwood movie, or just another series in general.
@Kirrim Okay! A tiny bit of feedback.
- “What is this?” You think, “Where am I?”
You don’t need this line. You don’t need to tell me what I’m thinking, since I’ll automatically wonder that anyway. Let the text speak for itself, because it does.
Put a page break just before the “You wake up.” It’ll have more impact that way if dream and reality are on two different pages.
I also think we should have choices in how we react to Cidney.
Hmm might want to call Shane something other than our partner.
And I think it really needs more interactivity. I only got a couple of pages in but I was frustrated with my lack of ability to actually interact with the game.
Kirrim
69
I was more focused with setting up the story for now but I’ll see what I can do @FairyGodFeather
Kirrim
70
And what else do you have in mind? I was trying to look for a word that meant your buddy on the watchtower as opposed to an old west “pardner” use of the word if that’s what you thought it meant.
Although if you could come up with a better word, I’d like to hear it cuz I didn’t like the word choice either, but it was the closest thing to what I meant.
Also, what kind of reactions do you mean? It might be narrow now because I was focused on setting it up as this girl that was your friend pre-apocalypse and I apologize if that’s not enjoyable.
And I’m sorry for the lack of content. I’m gonna start working again as soon as school lets out tomorrow almost nonstop (I hope) up until the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Hopefully, I’ll get into each plot diversion and at that point it’s going to become a lot more choice oriented.
I knew what you meant. It’s just that there’s a bit of ambiguity there when a character’s first revealed to be our partner. The word’s now commonly used to mean someone you’re in a romantic relationship with. Since that’s not the case, and you’re only planning for that to be an option with a female character I think better to steer clear. You could always create your own lingo though. Or use pardner. Or qualify the statement with where he’s your partner.
You’re telling an interactive story. We need to get a chance to interact. Even if they’re just fake choices they’re better than no choices. It also lets us start establishing our own personality. So when Cidney says “Another nightmare” let us reply. It could be anything from, “yeah… so many people,” to forcing a smile and offering a sarcastic response, or offering a flirtatious answer claiming you just wanted to get a pretty girl in your bed, or asking her to stay with you, platonically, or downing something alcoholic to let you get back to sleep.
Tease out the conversation a bit more. You could even establish the background information in the conversation with Cidney, instead of infodumping it.
“You can’t count how many you’ve actually had since the Falling, which is what your people have come to recognize as the day the bombs fell and wiped out the civilization you once knew. Luckily, you lived in a small town in the middle of nowhere named Potts Hill- which was far enough away from the impact zones and fallout clouds to be unaffected. Even so, the ever constant threat of nuclear radiation slowly killing every cell in your body or an atomic bomb melting your skin made everyone live in dreadful fear- one that billions of people unfortunately experienced.”
So when Cidney starts comforting you, that’s when you admit that you keep thinking of everyone who died. That you’re worried about the radiation and have nightmares about that. Or ask her if she ever thinks of Potts Hill. Work it into the conversation so the information comes up much more organically. That way you can show her being our friend, show her trying to provide comfort.
We’ll so far gotta say I love the game. I really do hope that you enjoy this one enough that you write it to completion seems like this could be a really good read when it’s all done with but as is I enjoy playing it
Kirrim
73
Thanks, @FairyGodFeather. I didn’t think about the romantic connotations to the word partner when I wrote that part, but I’ll change it to avoid confusion and thanks for the help with making the conversation with Cidney better.
Also, were you implying that I should take out the stuff in quotes and spread it around or what?
And thanks, @TheFallen, I appreciate the support!
Kirrim
74
Is it unprofessional to cuss in games, even if its a character saying it? In the beginning, I want Cidney to call the PC a derogatory name for one of the choices.
Should I refrain from this and find another way of writing it or is it okay?
I don’t think it’s unprofessional to curse in games. Plenty of games have curse-words. You may want to avoid the obvious ones though and use slang instead though.
Kirrim
76
Slang? I don’t follow. Do you mean like how the author of Heroes Rise uses slugger in every other sentence?
Kirrim
78
Well, I couldn’t think of anything so I dropped it. But I have 4 other options so it still looks good. Much better than the original line.
I get an error when I try to dodge the raider and attack him. But other then that good game so far 
ok i just found out about aftermath and i all ready loving the premise and everything about it but i just want to know is there author still working on it or did they abandon the project? because this topic apparently has been dead for at least a year and i really hope i can be able to play the full version of the game one day
