Afar: Mad World - Dark Fantasy (WIP) (HALLOWEEN UPDATE! 31 - October - 2019)

Thank you all for the reply! :smile:

This is only the first ever public draft and as always I will use your responses to further revise and edit the game to make it better. Every bit of criticism helps, and though I sometimes forget to implement the changes, I always appreciate all kinds of comment.

Having multiple other races is actually one of the original plans of the game. However, we opted for a much simpler approach of making everything human only because I wanted Ben to be able to finish this on-time and I couldn’t find time to write up all the extra bit of lore and racial conflicts between the races.

That being said, we both left room in the game so that if we choose to do so, we’re able to add in the option of extra races should the demands be met.

Oof, yeah, sorry. Some of the jokes are carry-overs from my previous game. I will be going through the game and looking around for what works and what doesn’t.

It was very exciting to write something completely different! Though I hope this one won’t take as long as Breach did…

Don’t forget Vox Machina :wink:

Writing the actual lore for the game will not be easy. Eventhough I have many years of playing through the original game in D&D, I never actually made a concrete lore of the game and all the notes for the original Trebantaboo is with my original DM whom I am having trouble contacting with.

That song was actually stick in my head throughout the first few days of writing :laughing:

Thank you! It’s going to be hard trying to find the perfect balance for the weirdness which is the main theme of this game. I’m relying mostly on user feedback, comments, and criticism to gauge whether a joke has gone too far or something is just too weird.

Yes, I care about grammar. Though there are other priorities, grammar is something I am definitely looking to fix.

Also, Fixed.

Glad to have you here! … Even though I still can’t understand a single sentence.

Fixed.

I can’t seem to recreate this error. What was the error dialogue the game gave you?

This is the type of comments I appreciate the most, one that tears the game down and shows me it’s flaws and at the same time suggests possible improvements. Thank you very much for this! I’ll be going through all of the posts and write down what I think needs to be worked on, which is basically every flaw that everyone’s pointed out so far.

Though it will take some time, I prefer to fix all that I can and fully bake the game before I submit anything.

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Hmm, very well then. I’ll find an alternative that would work better, if not, then I might as well scrap it… Unless you’re referring to the first word of the game after you enter the first chapter.

Ah, yes, sorry about that. In a way, this was both for the readers, and for me to keep track of what I want to convey in the game and what I wish to write down to show to the viewers. It was meant to be a short and sweet introduction which sort of bloated into a huge exposition bomb. I do still need to work on it and spread out all that information throughout the chapter instead of piling it up at the start.

There is a spoiler reason as to why half the crew had no complaints venturing into this dangerous, unknown, possibly nonexistent world, but you have a great point and suggestion. I’ll try my best to write it down. I’ll also have to do some work on the free time events on the ship where the MC can possibly learn more stuff about Trebantaboo from a lore book given by the first mate.

The classes and background story are tied because of how the players in the tabletop sessions created their character and background which links it directly to their class. The other reason is because the other passengers on the ship (which some will essential become a follower for the MC) have their own backstory set to their classes.

This will take some time and a bit of rewriting between me and Ben, but hopefully, I should be able to separate the class and the background to give more freedom of choice for the readers.

Thank you very much for your help and support! I know I’m still new at this whole fantasy writing thing and I know I still have much to learn, though I am eager to fix any flaws I’ve made and I’m eager to know what I can do to be better.

It is very much so exciting for me to be able to make the stores inside my head a reality, and I am very much so happy to know that people are reading the game, and to know that people are enjoying it makes all the headaches worth it.

Yes, you will be able to either buy new gear, or kill people and grab their gear. The game consists of most weapons you’d find in a medieval setting, plus a few firearms.

Thank you! It’s a far cry from Breach in terms of genre, but I hope I’m able to live up to the standards of the previous game.

EDIT: Sorry for the long ass post. When I say that I read every post, I mean it. A good developer should listens to their players.

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So will you be able to go solo in the game.

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Compliment: No matter what anyone else will say, you’re always gorgeous.

:laughing::joy::rofl:

How many random compliments did you code in?

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That’s part of the plan, yes.

… six.

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Pretty good game so far, I’m interested on were this goes :+1:t3:

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Loving the story. The storyline is very intriguing.

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Had fun so far on my journey to Skull Island, which I’ll finish tomorrow morning. Reminds me of an old GURPS campaign that I ran with my friends a few years back, which took place in a Victorian-era world. Magic existed, but was kept in the hands of the Elite and the commoners were kept ignorant to it. Automatons existed, like mechanical walkers and vehicles.

Stuff like this

Summary

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Anyways, there was a great war. Empire 1 uses its massive mechanical forces to dominate the continent it’s located on in an extremely one-sided fight. My PC was a veteran of this great war, and was a cavalry officer in Empire 2. After the war Empire 1 decides to purge all military officers of Empire 2 to prevent revolt. Thing is, all records were destroyed when Empire 1 sacked Empire 2’s royal palace, which also oversaw the administration of the army. So my shell-shocked (He saw all of his friends get gunned down in their first battle, when the Mehcanica (Empire 1’s mechanized branch) unleashed the fully-automatic rifle) PC sets off with his Gunslinger friend and their scheming entrepreneur friend to fight back against Empire 1. Anyways, I’m rambling. Anyone interested, pm me I have the file on-hand if you think it’s interesting. You know what, I think I just inspired myself to get to work on the project I’ve been putting off after abandoning my fighter pilot one went nowhere.

Here, take my grammatical suggestions

Summary

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Comma after from

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Breach pt.2 location confirmed?


It’s could work better as their


Sofia’s…

Anyway… What a name. So, was she the Captain’s favorite wench, then?



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Shouldn’t in for all of these be with?

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Add hyphen after intelligence

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Remove -er from experience

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0/10 no former bank robber option


Capitalize the cardinal directions

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Comma after so?

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Fairy Tales, not tails

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Add covers or something of the sort after partially

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CHAINS!!! and add change colloquial to colloquially


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Remove a from after has

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I like the game so far. The story is intriguing and I don’t mind having to read info at the beginning, it helps me to understand better the story and besides, knowledge is power :upside_down_face:

I don’t have any favourite character but, is too soon. I was left wanting to take someone’s whip off and… well, what I was going to write was a little … violent? Or weird.

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Hmm… I believe the characters’ introductions could use some tweaks. I chose the Rogue background with the Thief specialization though the game seems to recognize me as someone else “Dora Felixis. A cartographer from a different college in South Danisanci, looking to chart the continent for the Grand Magisterium back home. She is eager to help you in your tasks as navigator.”

Followed by “There’s also the cook, a former slave recently freed and now hired by the First Mat, Sips. She doesn’t talk much, but she’s kept everyone well fed.” I thought it was my job and responsibility to feed the crew? If anything, I think these introductions could benefit from being more neutral - don’t mention their asks if they’re going to conflict with the player’s.

Alternatively, you could say the crew is on rotation so they don’t get tired of doing the same thing during long voyages (though some jobs are more complex than others, i.e not everyone may have the skills to be a navigator for example).

(PS: I’m portuguese so I couldn’t help but snicker when I read the ship’s name. Almeida is also my last name so I guess the captian and I are related… :P)

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Ayyy, I see those Critical Role names. True taste. :+1:

Other than that, pretty interested. Loved your previous game, I’m sure I’ll love this one too.

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Whoa… I never played GURPS but now I really want to go through them :laughing:

I’ll get to soon. I need a bit of rest first.

Maybe you’ll get the chance to use it :wink:

Don’t worry, it’s quite normal in Trebantaboo to be violent, or weird, or both.

I will be reviewing the classes and backgrounds soon and I do have plans to separate the two. This will be revised and though it may take awhile and it’s quite a headache, me and Ben will work out the coding and replacement tasks for the other characters on the ship.

Much thanks for the feedback!

Thank you very much! I’m just glad people are playing my game :sweat_smile:

It’ll be awhile until the next update but hopefully I should be able to get about half of chapter 2 ready. I’ve also added a whole lot of tasks based on the feedback I’ve been given, I’ve prioritised them so, I apologise if not all of the problems are fixed.

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Can you end up as a mage if you chose the scholar path(because there really isn’t too much to do otherwise unless I have massively underestimated the scope of this game). Also, are there mages in general?

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Of course… Just in Trebantaboo :shushing_face::smirk:

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Yes, yes there are mages, and regardles of which class you choose, you will have the option to become a mage.

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Can you give us a rundown of the types please?

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Alrighty, I’ll tag it as spoilers even though it’s not in the game yet.

Anyone in Trebantaboo that has the ability to use magic from Eema(A sort of mana power thing), without any external devices such as an artifice, is called a Siren.

There are generally four different types of Sirens, but there are three additional archetypes which are incredibly rare to find. The four basic ones are blue Sirens, red Sirens, yellow Sirens, and green Sirens.

Blue Sirens are the most common, they are generalist and encompasses most forms of magic. Red Sirens are the second most common, they focus mainly on the powers of both defensive and offensive magic. Yellow Sirens are the third most common, they are generally a supporting role with their focus being defensive magic and manipulation like healing and shield spells. Green Sirens are the rarest of the four basics, they’re mostly mysterious as their focuses are offensive magic and manipulation such as teleportation, and necromancy.

You can learn more about them in-game in the later updates as I will be fleshing out a lot of the details and information about them.

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Let me guess, only 7 of them can exist in the universe at one time?

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OMGGG, I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK WITH THIS GAME!
I haven’t played yet, but I can sense greatness! Like archangel job!

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:joy:

Nope. There’s a lot of Sirens out there. The trials to becoming one are quite dangerous… but people in Trebantaboo are far too comfortable with danger.

Thank you! I also hope that this game can live up to the standards of my previous game :sweat_smile:

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Yeh!!! It said congratulation for me to survive till the end… could MC really died so early ??

I play as Hunter Ranger from North Verdan, i love that i had a chance to chat with everybody and apparently i was able to help most of them and thus the love me :-):smile: except for Lady Pissoff of course, didn’t know what’s her problem…

It feels like story of Silverworld and other lost world stories, i love it and am interested to continue the adventure, as Ranger i am intrigued with Dora the Scolar …

Ummm it is still early but this looks like great adventure ahead …

Edit : so as Hunter Ranger, perhaps it is my task to collect a sample of all the species’ belonging? Look fun to hunt down those sirens and put a scale of them to my belt, like Lady pissoff did ?

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