The fight will occur in Ch. 5. I was worried that Ch. 4 may seem unfinished, so I’ll add an extra paragraph or two to give it a more satisfying end.
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i found it weird how one part was written. When, i think it’s Danae (like 90% sure that’s her name), anyway way, she says something like “I have a younger brother.” and the MC responds with “I assume he’s younger than you?” even though she just said that he was younger than her.
Thank you for finding this. I’ll fix it this evening or maybe earlier than that.
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- The advancement of technology , however, has made the nation the target of contempt for less wealthier nations.
- Unneeded space after technology
-
I speak to the only boy with a bright, neon green fauxhawk. He had pale skin and a lip piercing on the left side of his lip. He was quite tall. He wore a plain, black shirt, and polyester jeans.
- faux hawk
Don’t you think your response to helping them with the fire spell should affect their relationship as well as personality?
in the school yard, attempting to use a basic-level creation magic. Out of pity, you attempted to help ${pronoun} as you did before.
I feel like this shouldn’t be our thought process if we’re bad at it too.
The school of Kael is proud to have a talented student such as you.
The rest of the paragraph is in the past.
- Your dad hung his head in embarrasment, “Haha. That’s true, sorry, honey.”
- embarrassment
- Your dad turned to you, “And you , Mr. Magician, don’t follow your dad’s actions. Just do as I say, not as I do.”
- Unneeded space after you.
- You’ve only mentioned Alana before, but your parents weren’t really familiar with her.
- I feel like the “only” is unneeded here. It looks weird to me.
- The library was a half-hour ride from your house. Fortunately, your father gave you some coins to cover the bus ffare. In addition, he gave you a little extra for the library’s gift shop (+200 coins).
- fare
(Needed Darkness above level 20).
A bit misleading when I succeeded.
-
You spoke, “that reminds me, what’s Grotto like, Alana?”
- Cap that.
-
Well, to be honest, I’m not sure. My parents tell me it’s because of education, but I know for a fact that there are magic school in Grotto. So I can’t really answer your questions, Avery."
- Schools,
- You replied, “that’s actually quite fascinating. that must mean you might live to 120 years old, Alana.”
- cap that
- “Shut up! that’s not my name, anymore.”
- cap that
- that voice. You recognized who it was.
- cap that
- that way it makes up for the disappointing answer I gave you.
- Cap that
Blockquote
Morgana turned to the middle-aged woman, By the way, Joshua, this is Anna. She’s my caretaker, the one I mentioned at the bus stop."
Should have a quote before “By”
Thank you for catching these. I will fix them as early as possible.
The revisions for Chapter 1 may come later, but they will be changed after the grammar issues have been fixed.
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I got 6/6, I’m not sure if my prometheans’ stats will be good at all.
I just played chapter 4… I love it and I love this game
I wanted those books from before so I got the shady cheap one and made Morgan pay for it. I was going to the dark one until I saw that it could barely talk.
Hey, great game, this is one of my favorite wips so far, I hope this one will live long enough to be the saga it deserves to be
But anyways, I have been anxious for chap 4, and I like the idea of personally creating and customizing our Ally, (did it work?) But will we be able to summon our ally on the fly? Perhaps summon and throw him to make use of High attack but low defense, or using it as bodyguard if it has high defense, and perhaps having the choice of going to Morgana’s house with it, since the MC can suspect a trap, but at the same time taking longer, so that it isnt just a must do without any drawbacks
Oh, and here
It should be That evening
Yes, summoning will work very quickly. No need for complicated incantations.
Thank you for finding this, it seems like a lot of words need to be capitalized.
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I agree with @Vilrek. The MC was too gullible. And we had the choice of being wary of the texts but they didn’t matter in the end.
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I agree, but keep in mind that two conditions need to apply.
One, that the MC doesn’t believe it. Two, the MC doesn’t believe they can handle it.
Since my MC either has the dark magic or charm to have a pet djinn, I think overconfidence would make sense.
I hope Morgan won’t be too put off when my MC summons his pet djinn and tells him to eat their faces.
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The corresponding branch that leads to suspecting ‘Anna’ will be added soon. I released Ch.4 as it was 95% complete, but a few things will be added to it. Rest assured your choice regarding the anonymous texts will matter after the next update.
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Oh yeah, I just read through that, I think. I was checking something out and I realized that scene was added.
I still can’t kick ass though.
That certainly was a good experience.
But i didnt get a chance to use my Djinn tho 
Be patient, child. (20 patient characters)
Some of the dialogue in this game feels slightly off. I don’t know what it is, but when I read some of the interactions between characters, especially between the parents, something about it feels unnatural to me.
Other than that, been enjoying the game so far. Still iffs me that a child can beat and potentially a greater djinn in this game, even if I do appreciate an epic fight and a good thwacking.
Magic Iron Man when.
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Loaded up an old save file and this showed up in place of what I assume is supposed to be the pronouns.
Yes, this will only appear if you loaded an old save. Creating a new save file will fix this.
Is there anything, specifically, that needs to be rephrased? Some of the dialogues with the parents were written to be endearing towards the MC. At least, that was what I intended.