Abysm's Veil- Continuing the story. (WIP) Last update 11th December

gender-choice
adult-fiction
modern-fantasy

#122

1: I love this and 2: yea I’m pretty much trying to keep as much humanity as possible lol, I’llprobably end up dying because of it but shrugs


#123

Thanks @nulCat! There’s not a definite right or wrong way to play this one, and some of the choices are meant to be hard, so play however you feel is best (and try not to die a second time if at all possible.)


#124

I got through chapter five, and the descriptions of the bottom of the ocean, in how pretty but terrifying it can be, were great – it was like watching Blue Planet.

Ivy is adorable and although Terrell is still my favorite character :pirate_flag:, I’m liking the interactions with Tanya more and more.

I noticed a few typos if you don’t mind me pointing them out:

Summary

Questions need to be asked, but it would likely not be not terribly wise to start approaching everyone i the group until you know more.
The “i” after everyone should be “in”.

No reason to let her know our suspicions too early.
“Our” should be “your”… unless we’re going the royal we route, lol.

"Maybe not, but even if there’s no more to it than acting out a grudge, how long before things around here reach boiling point?
There’s a quotation mark missing at the end.

“Go with them. It seems as if the best option is to play their game… for now at least.”
I don’t think there shouldn’t be any quotation marks here since it doesn’t seem like we’re saying that aloud.


#125

No not at all! Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me about them. I’m terrible at picking up my own typos, everytime I read through stuff I’ve written I find more of them, so all help in that area is very welcome :grinning:

That’s a huge complement, thank you.

Good to hear. There’s more with her in the next chapter coming up :slight_smile:


#126

I really love the way you portrayed the ocean and its mysteries in this wip of yours. Be it the serenity and vastness of its solitude, or the sheer depth of its waters and the eery unknown.

I enjoyed the experience immensely, and this is coming from somone with thalassophobia. I look forward to when it gets released!


#127

Thanks so much for the support @BoisterousBumblebee! I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far :blush:


#128

That was a very thrilling read, loved it.
The current end of the demo certainly had me on edge, considering I’m terrified of deep/open water, hah!
Definitely looking forward to more :slight_smile:


#129

I had a lot of fun with the choices when confronted by the abyssal. Unleashing MCs rage was pretty good :joy: also found some typos but silly me I forgot to take screenshots of them. I’ll have to add more later.

Summary


#130

Thank you for the kind words and for the typo pick up @Ricemaker and @LewisGraham!

I actually just want to take the opportunity to thank everyone again for all the words of support this WIP has been getting even though it has been taking me a while to get it finished. I’m quite overwhelmed really and really appreciate it. I was actually not at all sure anyone would even want to read it when I first started writing it for the CScomp given it’s a bit of a weird topic and a lot darker than anything I’ve tried to write before. So yep, thank you :blush:!


#131

We support your inner beauty - Auntie is just jealous and she never means those things she says anyways :two_hearts: :slight_smile:


#132

Who wouldn’t want to read something that keeps them up at night thinking about how lonely they are?


#133

If anyone would like some video footage of floating around in the ocean to get into the mood for playing Abysm’s Veil, I just found this instagram account and it is amazing. (There’s an entire page of video clip goodness there.)


#134

nice to see you back, hope this new year you gift us with some games :slight_smile:


#135

Thanks @djisma69! Definately hoping to get a game done this year :slight_smile:


#136

Ha ha, I don’t know, I think because of the horror element in the story I’d have to watch Jaws or play the underwater levels of a Mario game to get into the right mindset. That video seems too peaceful! :laughing:


#137

The first part of chapter 6 is up (about 12k words give or take.) :fish:

I’ve fixed some typos and found a messed up part in the Abyssal’s interaction which was presenting only a single choice for some players in one area.

Thank you again to everyone who has been error checking for me!


#138

sobs that cliffhanger im DYING here

not sure what classifies as a spoiler to some people so shrugs
I have to say, as someone with with both a fear and obsession of the sea this game hits me in all the right places.


#139

Sorry about that @nulCat! Glad you’re enjoying it despite me dropping a cliff hanger like that in. I’ll try to finish up the rest of the chapter as soon as I’m able.


#140

When using voice to try and control the female bar attendant the third option says to release him instead of her in chapter 6.

Edit:

Actually seems you have a bunch of gender mismatch going in in the bar with Tanya.


#141

@LordOfLA sorry about that. I changed some stuff and thought I’d fixed all the pronouns before posting this chapter but must have missed some. Will have to have a look :slight_smile: