Abysm's Veil- Continuing the story. (WIP) Last update 11th December

gender-choice
modern-fantasy
adult-fiction

#42

I love this WIP. I usually skip over the parts where there is no choice making if I am tired but with this game I read through. Even though I stumbled upon it at night time.


#43

This is awesome! The story-telling and how the plot is being moved forward is really good. I love the characters too. Keep up the good work!


#44

This is beautifully written and I really loved the way the choices are super difficult and there’s no real “correct” choice. No wonder this piece won the competition, congrats once again! I picked up a couple of minor typos, will dm you the screenshots :smile:

Yes, this is a great idea! After a while I was like wait who’s who again? Haha which is exactly like real life - people introduce themselves and five minutes later you’re like ohhhh shit what’s her name again?


#45

Thanks everyone! :blush:
@nauhziy haha yeah, I’m awful with names myself, particularly when like 10+ people get introduced at once. Sometimes I find myself wishing name tags were mandatory.


#46

I have nothing much to say other than I really enjoyed this and I can’t wait to see what more comes out of it. :slightly_smiling_face:


#47

Hello! Sorry for my late reply. So glad to see that you’ve made progress on the game, we’re so excited to see what comes next.:grin:

Also regarding Leiko’s name, I forgot about name changes within the rusalki community while maknig my comment OTL. If you’re intent on keeping Leiko’s name, you should keep it! Her background is pretty ambiguous so you can make lots of inferences about her, including the origin of her name. Sounds pretty stimulating for the mind, and a great way to encourage people to create headcanons about her. :slight_smile:

And don’t worry about names, you’ll get used to it!


#48

This topic was automatically closed 21 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.


#49

#50

Hi everyone :dolphin: . Sorry about the long absence without any updates for any of my wips. Has been a tricky few months all round. I was planning to do a larger update once chapter 4 was done but it might take me a little while to get that up and running. (A fair bit of it is already written but it needs finishing and editing + I’ve been resorting to handwriting stuff so other parts need to be typed up). Thank you to everyone who gave feedback, hopefully I’ve got most of it changed (although there’s a couple of things I still need to do).

Anyway small update to show this wip isn’t dead :slight_smile:

Added character sheet (accessible via the stats screen, gets added to as you meet people).

Added a non-binary option. Please tell me if you think anything doesn’t sound right and needs changing.

Mis coding and grammar fixes. Extra options and text here and there.

Added a little bit more story at the end.

There was a bug where if you gave Terrell a different name, it either didn’t change what he called you or changed your “rusalki” name. I hope I’ve got that fixed but I may need to look at it some more if anyone is getting that bug still.

(Edit- forgot to run spell check through the character sheet. Fixed now.)


#51

Wow that was one hell of a WIP. I’m very impressed with the plotline, the lore of the game adds a lot more character to the plot too. I remember a book about different mermaid tribes at war with one another and for some reason this reminded me a lot of that book (forgot the name, I think it has the word “ice” in it?)

Anyway it’s a great story so far. Sorry if someone asked this before but what gave you the inspiration to write a story like this?


#52

Hi @SoleWanderer, thanks for the nice feedback, glad you enjoyed the WIP so far :slight_smile:

I haven’t read the book you’re talking about. If you ever find it again, please let me know. I’m always up for a good mermaid book to read.

I guess I like mythology/folk tale based fantasy stories (my other WIP is based on an obscure folk tale about a deal with a mermaid- kind of seems to be a theme happening here with what I end up writing about XD ) There’s a lot of under-represented creatures and beings out there that you rarely hear about, many of which are really interesting in their own right. I felt like trying to write something a bit darker than usual and out of my comfort zone and thought a story about rusalki fit that, particularly since they have a bit of a complicated backstory. (They were all human once, not just born that way. I kind of wondered how that would affect someone who was put in that position). There’s probably a little inspiration coming through from the Pirates of the Caribean movie as well. (You know the one with the rather scarey predator mermaids, but one ends up being captured as she only hunts those that she sees as “evil”.)

And then there’s all sorts of old pictures like this around. Can sort of make up little mini stories. What happened? Who’s happy, sad or reluctant about it and why? It can help create the characters.


#53

That’s brilliant. Honestly I’ve never even heard of rusalki until this but now you’ve piqued my curiosity. And you’re right, as much as I love mermaids it’s definitely refreshing to see the less popular creatures of mythology used in stories like this. It makes me wonder how much more I’m missing out on.

Btw now I’m driving myself crazy trying to think of the damn book. When I remember the title I’ll let you know.


#54

Just noticed this on dashing don given that it was part of cscomp I’m now wondering if I’m blind.

Anyhow, work so far is resulting in cash being thrown at screen and nothing happening :smiley:

Shall watch out for this landing on sale to buy :slight_smile:


#55

@LordOfLA Thanks :smile: (lol not blind, it only just went up on the dashingdon’s list yesterday with an update from what was submitted in the CSComp.)


#56

i was pleasantly surprised when i saw this in dashingdon. i’m not sure if i said this before but i’ve also been intrigued with mythology especially those i’ve never heard before.

i was also playing the non-binary and came across this error:

Screenshot

49

i think that was the only one…i hope


#57

Really glad to see a little update of this WIP, can’t wait for further updates! :star_struck:


#58

Not George RR Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” series…?


#59

@Jacic I found the book! It’s called “Ice Massacre” by Tiana Warner. Thanks for helping out anyway :slight_smile:


#60

Thanks @SoleWanderer, I’ll have to check it out.

@Abe, thanks for picking that up. I’ll need to look into that (unless someone can help me out?) I’ve got a variable for him/her/their which is why it looks like that because it automatically subs their into words like ${her}self. I’m not sure if that’s correct usage though.

Thanks @syd969 :slight_smile:


#61

Maybe make a ${herself} variable for himself/herself/themself? Usually I see (and I myself use) ‘themself’ in the singular for enbies (nonbinary individuals). I looked it up in Google’s dictionary too, and ‘themself’ was given as the gender-neutral version of herself/himself.