A Witch's Curse (W.I.P) (Update: 10/27/2018)

low-fantasy
gender-choice
nonbinary-inclusive

#21

So I ended up making a tumblr for this, because, why not? Feel free to ask anything you’re curious about and I’ll do my best to respond if they’re not too spoilery: https://a-witches-curse.tumblr.com/

Also, an update on the writing of Chapter One, I’ve written about 3,500 words so far including code! I plan on putting up a snippet on the tumblr page at the end of this week.


#22

I like Lorelie too… am always fond of loyal childhood friend, but how could she survives all these years ? i especially like the scene when i chose to beg her to open the lock for me, and she “warn” me she will break off our friendship if i use that tone again, with a flustered face


#23

Chapter one has ended up being a lot longer than originally intended, so I decided to release it in parts. The first half is up and ready to play. The second half will be up… probably some time late next week. Anyway, enjoy!


#24

(…) don’t worry, mother is here. (…)

:face_with_raised_eyebrow:
(That song is now my soundtrack for this WIP,)


#25

Honestly, not gonna lie, Mother Gothel was a big influence for the way I wrote The Witch’s interactions with MC.

The song I listen to most often when I write for her is this:

Just the line “I’ve never met a salesman like you before.” fits her so well in my head


#26

There are lots of spelling errors in this page. For example “I remember when I first met He” also why is he capitalized so much, is that intentional? At the beginning of the next paragraph, the first word of that sentence isn’t capitalized.

Maybe put a little distance between Mom and the Relationships heading? Currently they’re on the same line.

Really good work so far though! =)


#27

Hopefully everything should be fixed now! And no, He being capitalized is not intentional. When I write I tend to jump from section to section based on what I’m in the mood for, and so sometimes I end up skipping over proof reading a section because I figure, “you spent all day working on it yesterday, wouldn’t you have noticed if something was off?” The answer is, apparently, no.

Also, thank you!


#28

Question: Would you like another option for a familiar?

  • Yes, I would like more options for a familiar.
  • No, I think 3 is enough.

0 voters

If you said yes, please tell me what kind of animal you’d like


#29

I’m fine with just the three, and I would definitely prefer more content per option, over more options. :blush:


#30

Hey, so I snooped around in the code a little and I just thought I’d mention that you can make a variable (such as ${MC_hisher}) start with a capital letter by putting a “!” right after the “$” (for example, $!{MC_hisher}). No need to have all this caps_himher stuff :slight_smile:

(Also, if you type in “no” (but not “No”) when asked for a name, it lets you keep it :^))

Anyway, I really like the story so far! I can’t wait for the second half of chapter one!


#31

Maybe a snake or lizard? Or a Ferret? They’re small enough that’s we could hide them in our coats


#32

I love this so far! :heart_eyes_cat: I also really like that one of the options for the familiar is exactly like my own black cat named Midnight…Hopefully Mother doesn’t hurt our companion.

I’m curious about Maria too. Slightly suspicious, but also intrigued because the name thing. Also, why she would be okay with moving into the house given it’s history… :skull: . The delivery of the pie coinciding with the neighbor’s death makes me suspect Mother may have had something to do with the death. She seems possessive and MC liked the neighbor so maybe she offed the competition for the MC’s affections??? I don’t know how her dark magic works, but maybe killing the lady also gave her a bit more power.

I love your writing style! You paint a very clear picture with your words. Best wishes with this and thank you for sharing it! :slight_smile:


#33

It fun read this you did good job can.t wait see more of your work


#34

Hello! I really like the concept in this WIP and I can imagine that depending on how you go with this, it can be a pretty angsty ride, but we’ll see.

I was trying to some different variations and I got this error after making the choice that L was male and then I tried to reply that L’s charm wasn’t working on me. (It worked with the other choices, just not that one.)

image

I also noticed that you might have accidentally capitalized the h in He is trying to avoid making eye contact and you forgot a period after “He doesn’t answer”.

image 2

I’m kind of nitpicking and there are probably a couple of more more grammatically errors that I missed, but this has definitely gotten a lot more detailed than I remember first playing this. I absolutely love the little details you went in to put add to the characters and it really makes a big difference (e.g. L’s little old gang slang, the curls in their hair, first meeting with M; the way you describe them is very pretty (picturesque? either way)). I imagine that with the many years we have been in service to “Mom”, we must have met M somewhere around there, but the question is when? And how are they still alive? You’ll probably to that eventually, but until then I’m really looking forward to seeing where this story leads!


#35

I like to now if the curse work go down will I die or it go back age to human live happy aging life


#36

First off, thanks to everyone who’s been commenting and reading and liking this W.I.P. It’s very motivating and also extremely flattering.

@SuperiorTea Thanks so much, that will make my life much easier in the future! But also much harder right now since I’ll need to go back and get rid of all the ${caps_} stuff. And I’ll need to go back and fix the “no” thing again. I refuse to let that snarky beta tester of mine win! And thank you so much. It’s taking a little longer than I thought to write this chapter, but definitely the second half of chapter 1 will be out before the end of the month.

@HippoAttack Thank you for the suggestion, although I think I’ll just keep the three familiars for now :slight_smile:

@rachelamber I’m glad you like M, and you might be on to something there :wink:

@mintybunbun Thank you so much for pointing that out. It’ll hopefully be fixed now. Also, thanks for noticing that I went back and added detail! That’ll probably happen a lot. When I get stuck on scenes I tend to go back and elaborate on old ones. :smile:

@Takashi_Shin Unfortunately I can’t tell you that because I’m not 100% sure myself.

Bit of backstory here

This story started as an on and off comic I never had enough time to draw for. In the original thing the MC always knew that her mom wasn’t really her mom and was also a witch and she definitely wanted to break the curse because I have been under this curse for 200 years for the love of god let me die. But now the story is different. I’m going back and forth on how I want to end it and may end up letting the player choose later on. But for now I’m not sure.


#37

Definitely like the idea of this story. It’s great to see more stories that have ample backstory to explore (I hope?) in addition to the unfolding plot, so I’m eager to see more.


#38

So, I made fanart of this beautiful piece of story here, sorry for the lazy background :>


#39

This seems really interesting! I already hate Gothel over there, and L is somehow so loveable. I can’t wait to find out more


#40

@Hamps I’m just… completely at a loss for words. Thank you so so much! I can’t believe anyone would like this enough to make fan art! This is beautiful. I especially love the open eye on the hand of the woman in the center!