Take your time, unlike Bento I’ll be here patiently holding out for a hero, aka Mars in chapter 5. 
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Hope everything is okay with your family. I’ll be here patiently waiting for the updates
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I’ll get out of my hinding place once the prey is out 
Hope everything goes well with family, take your time
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Sweet Aki is best girl and I will die on this hill, Mars is cool. But we finally get to beat on some giant robots, I should not be this excited for one fight scene.
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…Well. 24 hours and a few extra minutes, it ended up being. With that said, though…
The new Prologue and Chapter 1 have now been released.
The size of the game is now 162 thousand words, though approximately 30 thousand of those are brand new, since the first two chapters have been rewritten. As always, here’s a short summary:
- Meet Lat! Again! This time, with more pizazz.
- Nova’s a real joker.
- Bing bada bing goes the energy bolt.
- The League has learned how to actually recruit people!
- The distance to the top is made a lot clearer.
- Better explained politics!
- Seeker and Ignis are really into each other, ain’t they?
- Play the game all the way to the end, and see a little surprise!
There’s also other things, though they aren’t as noticeable yet. There’s now an extra conversation option if you hang out with Seeker in Chapter 4, and another option if Lat confesses to you in Chapter 4.
I’ve also reworded the start of the romance version of the Ignis hot spring scene in Chapter 4, though that one will keep getting additions as time goes on. It made Ignis come across as too… “free”, so to say, regarding her body. Due to her past, that shouldn’t be the case, and the scene isn’t reflective of her true personality. The ‘make-out’ part of it will also get reworked (though the MC will still get to kiss her, probably).
The rest of Chapter 4’s additions will have to wait for Chapter 5, however.
That said…
What I would like from you all.
As you obviously know, the Prologue and Chapter 1 have been rewritten in their entirety. The plot is still the same, but the atmosphere of the scenes has changed somewhat, and I imagine it might clash with some of what’s in the older chapters (as in, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 and Chapter 4). I’d really appreciate it if you could all bring specific paragraphs or lines that feel weird due to the new additions, so that I can rewrite those.
Aside from that, I’d like some feedback on the new chapters, obviously (I will spoiler the questions, don’t click on them until you have played them):
- What do you think of Latooni’s new introduction?
- Does the League ‘read’ better to you now? Do they feel more like characters from the onset, instead of gaing a personality as the game goes on?
- The training section has been reworked a little bit. What did you think of it? Was it too technical?
- There were a few (correct) complaints that Seeker and Ignis’ ‘situation’ wasn’t as obvious before Chapter 2. There’s a lot more Seeker-Ignis interactions in the Prologue and Chapter 1 now. Is their relationship more clear to you now?
- Once more, there’s some new codex entries, relating to Giga City, to Crete, Gloria and Mars. I’d really like it if you could give me your thoughts on them (especially the location ones).
That’s all, I think. Please reports any bugs and/or typos you find, and feel free to let me know any other thoughts you may have regarding the game!
Have fun!
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Also! Sorry for double posting, I just forgot.
There’s a discord server for the game! You can join it here: A Tale of Heroes
I drop a lot of extra hints and lore in there, in case you’re interested, as well as funny ‘mini-creations’ of things I think represent the cast.
And I also have a Ko-fi! If you would like to support my writing, you can do so here: https://ko-fi.com/juancuevas0168 It’s not obligatory,your support in playing and offering feedback is already extremely helpful, and I’ll continue to write the game regardless, it’s just in case you would like to offer some extra support.
And finally, I have a Tumblr blog: https://juantheashura.tumblr.com/ A lot of it is mostly asks regarding the ROs, but I’m open to answering basically any question there too, so if you prefer using that to keep up with projects, please follow me! I like it when the numbers go up :c
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Oooh nice, I miss Nova 
Can you please add some save slots?
I found this, should be “her”
I really like the Latooni introduction. I must confess that I played the old version of the game a long time ago, but if I remember correctly the story of how you meet her wasn’t in the older version? Is a nice addition to know her more.
Also the first encounter with the League is cool. Here I am, wishing that someday Forlorn will be a RO (I have a death wish)
English is not my first language so maybe this is a me problem, but I’ve got a little confused with the first sentence here:
“You’re not sure of what yet, with the sunlight from the window hitting you in the eyes…”
But again: I think this way I’ve understood better, but my english is terrible.
Didn’t read the First chapter yet, just the prologue. Soon I’ll read chapter one too and post something more I really like your story!
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Thanks for the reports! I seem to have forgotten to click on the plugin option on Dashingdon, that should be fixed now.
I’ve also fixed the pronoun mistake you posted, sorry about that. And no, it’s not your English, don’t worry about it. I’ll reword that slightly so it’s easier to follow.
I’ll update a short hotfix after I get a few more reports of anything else I may have missed, if that’s okay.
Also, yes, you’re right. It wasn’t specified when you met Latooni before, so I added a bit more regarding her now. A few testers mentioned that Lat wasn’t really easy to trust since she came out of nowhere, so I tried to make her more established in the MC’s life.
And thank you for the compliments! I’m happy that you like the story, there’s no better compliment. Thank you for taking the time to test it out. 
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The only issue now is that the readers are deciding much less about their MC’s personalities, and how they’d actually react (or just choose to for RP’s sake) to being suddenly addressed by someone in a hallway when needing to decompress after an encounter with a toxic educational “professional”.
One of the things I liked in the previous version of that one conversation with Aki is that you could establish the ‘how’ of things. Needing time to get used to your new acquaintance-turned-roomie isn’t that far fetched, which is why it was nice being able to establish that the MC may have been “dragged” reluctantly into friendship. Not out of distrust, but because that is just how some people are when it comes to social engagement. For that reason, I considered the reader headcanon better. 
I don’t know what was perceived as untrustworthy in Lat, but aren’t more characters we play at some mid-point in their lives, rather than a ‘birth to death’ scenario that is often… too sanitized to have any soul or substance, going to come with pre-established relationships? Letting the reader set the tone is still important in either scenario. So instead of being dragged along until the MC knows they’ll be friends willing or not, there’s a pronounced disconnect with the whole “how we met” scene depending on the personality the reader intends to have, or express. 
Putting all that aside I think the writing this time around is a huge improvement! The skill difference is easy to see, and I can tell you’re a lot more comfortable with scene flow, and more life-like characterization in the cast. Well done!
Editing to add: on the subject of Ignis and Seekers’ relationship, there is a lot more substance now than previously. Not that it looks like “love” necessarily, but it does look like the relationship of true soul mates.
There is a bit of meta knowledge coming into play here, but knowing a little about her background, how, and who, she was raised to be, then contrasting it with those little gestures like resting her feet over Seekers’, pulling on him when annoyed about the pizza slice she was trying to offer to MC, these are more down to earth mannerisms that are being drawn out of her. She didn’t have that before, or at least not as obviously, if that makes sense? Seeker is clearly her safe space, though. Whether it is as a hero team, or just friends being goofballs with each other. I like this improvement! 
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I think I understand what you’re saying. I didn’t get to this part, but the conversation with Aki about Lat still happened? If that’s the case, I don’t think the scene where you meet Lat is… determinant of how her relationship with MC started. I think that the descriptions are ambiguous enough (the exception being a part that I’ll screenshot) that you could have reluctantely or happily dragged in this friendship 
Because in one way ir another, is already estabelished that MC and Lat are close friends (it’s in the character’s description).
The only part in the text where the narrative kind of says what MC was feeling is here, where it says that “she seemed fun, you thought”.
Maybe a choice could be put here? Something like
- she seemed fun
- she seemed too much
- I was totally dragged into this
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We definitely needed this. A revamped beginning since some things wasn’t made clear and the prologue was meh before. Thanks for the update
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Those are very fair points (re: the Lat friendship). The player getting an extra chance to establish their personalities is a good point, I hadn’t seen it from that angle before.
I tried to keep the spirit of the Aki conversation even in the rewrite though, at least to some level. The last of the three options has the MC act like Latooni’s… latooni-ness can be a bit too much for most people. Perhaps I should try and make it a bit clearer? Now that I read it again, I can see it’s not very expressive.
And thank you for your compliments! I’m happy to hear it all flows better and is better composed now, that was one of my main worries. 
Also, thanks for the thoughts on Seeker-Ignis. Sometimes, I feel like the lines are a bit too ‘throw-away’ so people won’t pay them too much mind, but I’m glad that they made at least a little bit of an impression. Thank you.
And thanks, @Christopher_Bull! I appreciate your words, happy you enjoyed it. 
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I found a Grammer error: Alright, fine!" Forlorn exclaims, pulling you out of your thoughts again. "Let’s say you;re right.
Other than that the rewrite is great. I do miss the MC being able to compare the HQ to a cage & would like the choice to be dragged or talked into training but that’s just me xd. It does clash a bit with the older chapters (2-5) & I agree about the one choice that Renata made
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Stuffs
Nova opening the whole thing with an actual missile feels very… not-Nova, especially in a room that includes civilians. This is the sort of high-firepower response that I’d expect from… whatshisname, the military asshole. Dark Star, that’s the one.
Lat’s first sentence might be the most Lat thing I’ve ever heard.
It’s not really important, but I’m curious as to why only the first option here references “young”.
Aww, from the mirror descriptions, this Aki girl seems nice. I wonder if I’ll like her.
Now THERE’S an interesting tidbit. Which two? And if it’s true, and we didn’t do it, and Lat didn’t do it, who DID? Also, all these people are antagonically charging someone they think can cause earthquakes. What’s Giga College’s mascot, the suicidal lemming?
The bane of CoG writer, uncapitalised pronoun (but at least it’s the right pronoun)! Also, it’s not true that we had no control. When we asserted oursleves, the beach became more real and Other Us DID shut up.
I’m gonna say this feels weird, and it contradicts what happened even in the original version: our energy blasts don’t seem to be thermal in nature, being more like the Lantern rings energy projection, and so they shouldn’t really burn Lat. Everything in this scene (and the original) suggests this is solid energy, not thermal.
Here Lat says she doesn’t have powers, which at this point in the story might be technically true, but I feel like there should be some sort of reference if you told her that Other Us implied she has powers, too.
Aw, I miss the “get to the League” option from the original here. It was always the smart option.
That “you’re” has a semi-colon (must be terrible for pooping, poor thing) instead of an apostrophe. Also, I presume the “he” here is Stratton, and it’s EXTREMELY out of character for Forlorn to give a flying fuck about what Stratton thinks. If anything, Stratton objecting would make Forlorn MORE on board with it, on the basis that it would piss Stratton off and it’s therefore good, because Stratton only objects to good things.
We were told that Lat had telepathy like two screens ago, feels a bit dumb of the MC to ask “how are you speaking in my mind”.
You didn’t close quotation marks at the end. Ignis is just going to keep talking forever and ever and ever and ever and… Well, or until Seeker smooches those lips. “Forever” might be sooner.
Hahaha, “I’ll make Forlorn shake your hand.” “Can you make him call me Miss?” Glorious!
Yay, joining the League fully clears student debt. Ignis is already a better president than Biden, and she doesn’t even have the job.
“where Nova’s piloting”
JFC, how is Stratton even MORE insufferable now?
I like how the assclown goes “we shall bring the League to heel”, as if Seeker on his own couldn’t bisect half the US military under half an hour without breaking a sweat.
Aw, I miss Ignis’s line of “what kind of incredible idiot would shoot energy powers at people for training when a target would do just as well?” and everybody just coughing and shuffling their feet embarassedly.
HAH, “two halves of one whole idiot.”
Break time! But I’m already leaving for the correspondents’ dinner, so there shouldn’t be any remarks from here on out.
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It’s a pretty small one, and it’s remotely controlled. It’s not quite as dangerous as it looks, and as you see when the story goes back to that point, Aki’s already evacuated the civilians by then. It’s an empty room full of wreckage when your ‘fight’ with the League happens.
No deep reason, just wanted to avoid being too repetitive in the options. It’s why one of them doesn’t mention being 21 yo either.
Right, but this happens right after the MC is told Other!MC decided where to take your subconscious, and Other!MC just flexing over the MC for the whole conversation.
The world also collapses immediately afterwards, despite the MC not wanting that, so… 
Not quite. If you check the fight with the Fire Villain in Chapter 2, you can see that hitting him with your energy blasts gets a response of “steam coming off of where your bolts hit”. I think something like this also happens if you take the energy option when fighting Other!MC at the start of Chapter 3.
In general, think of the MC’s energy powers closer to something like Dragon Ball’s ki blasts. They’re not exactly a western comic book-esque power.
Partly, yeah.
It’s not, however, out of character for Ignis to get pissed at Stratton for daring to exist. The question is meant less “I don’t want that” and more “do you want to deal with that?”. It’s why Seeker also looks at Ignis when she replies.
Noted on everything else, though! I’ll try and have it all fixed before tonight. Thanks for reporting it.
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I saw that a bit after my initial post of feedback. The answers the player can give in the conversation don’t fully jive when they contradict how the scene itself played out without any player input before the Aki conversation, so it is good to know that it is up for refinement on the backend of things. 
I used to pick pick the “this is a cage” option, too, but I didn’t have any issues with the rewrite’s “removal” of the option. It is there in spirit, plus, things are a lot more natural when going along with the League, even reluctantly. Part of why I’m able to compare the old with the new is that I literally reread the demo a day before your 24-48 hour notice about updating. Excellent timing, I guess. 
At any rate, you did outdo yourself by far and away when contrasting the opening acts of the old and rewritten first parts of the demo. Yes, I will stack on the praise. You very much earned it by showing great improvement!
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I definitely liked some changes made to the characters especially lat. I like her new personality better then the old one. Also the relationship between seeker and ignite made a lot more clearer now. Aki is still the same which how it should it. I say good luck getting close to her without her bodyguard killing u lol
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I have accepted this challenge long ago.
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I have a few ideas on how to give the player more of a choice when deciding their relationship with Latooni. Luckily, the end of the section where your relationship with Lat is explained is open-ended enough that I can add to it.
It’ll still end with the MC deciding they’re definitely friends with Latooni, but I think I can tweak it enough so that a reluctant/keen/nonchalant set of options could fit in. I’ll add it to the hotfix I’m preparing, which should be posted in an hour or two.
Yeah, I enjoyed writing the MC being pissed off st the League, but people were definitely correct on that it didn’t really pair off with what happens in the story, and considering what’s coming, writing the MC just wanting to drop the League and get away asap would require a very different path from what the game is meant to be.
Besides, offloading more of the blame onto the cops/government helps set up the dislike of Stratton, I think. After all, he is ‘the man in charge’.
I’m happy to hear! LadyUmbreon mentioned a fair bit of the ‘small-ish’ changes, but there’s other things sprinkled around the chapter (note what Seeker does when he serves the meal after your training, and what Ignis gets like after he leaves), so I hope people can come off with the impression that 'these two are something’.
Once more, thank you both for the compliments! I’m incredibly happy the rewrites are being well-received.
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I agree with Lady Umbreon that the HQ is a cage choice is there in spirit which is nice since that’s what I picked for my first playthrough.
My MC didn’t want powers & is now pissed that they have been dragging into this mess xd but they’re not going to stand around & let people get hurt either which is why I love the ability to pick the option of telling F off during the first fight. They could care less about proving themselves to the heroes but they’re not going to just stand by & let people get hurt
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