I like to think that Fake!MC is just Q in disguise
Holy Jesus I just finished and wow!!! Jesus it’s so good, lots of lil spelling and. Grammar mistakes, all easily fixable stuff. But totally what I’d imagine a more realistic super hero type story to go. The ending insane and really got me hooked and wanting more!!! Definitely can’t wait to see how this story ends .
omg dude this is sooo insaneeee! and here I thought I would never find such ‘unique superhero plot IF’ (well that’s aside from the ones I’ve already played, but hey it’s a good one–a better one even) but setting my personal opinion aside(I mean I’ll talk about it later)
I’d like to site some teeny weeny suggestion and comments for this game (note: the following is a mere suggestion only, and is not demanded, it is solely up to you if you’ll give at go, sooo no pressure at all
The MC’s power - I really have no personal issue about the power sets of the MC , I just thought that maybe it’s also good that you add some power options–like a certain element(like water, fire, earth, metal, air, lighting, ice–something like that) that the MC could wield or hone in the coming chapters, something that’ll add authenticity to the player’s MC (an MC that they can call their very own because they had the choice–don’t you think? )
Grammars - although it’s not totally noticeable, it’ll be good to recheck that (but don’t fret I’m not telling you do it now, I know you’re doing your best here–and you’re certainly doing a great job!) but I just had to say you’re quite good with words I was so much entertained while playing the game, like seriously there’s no boring part about it
Characters- lemme just say this first, is there any possible way that I can punch Forlorn like in a row for fun?–I mean damn the guy’s got an attitude, but 'nyways moving on, I actually got no suggestions for the characters–they’re all perfect the way they are–even Gloria’s a good egg too–I love how real the characters seem to be, they had their flaws which make 'em all very realistic (coz seriously I could bet that there’s a lot of “Forlorn” like peeps out there that needs smacking ). Overall you need not to change these very lit characters truly–they’re all lovable–even the domineering egotistical Forlorn.
The Plot- there are a lot of things I could say about the plot it’s Superb, Fantastic, Amazing, Extra Ordinaire–or whatever you may call it as an embodiment of Awesomeness real Sugoiii neee–seriously it is indeed a very interesting IF there’s no doubt that I’ll be very eager to see what’s left in the box, especially if it’s already this good even if it’s still on going soooo I’m totally gonna hang around and see where you’ll bring me next!
Also I’d like to just confess how this game had me speechless–like look at me typing this comment now when I’ve finished playing it yesterday. That’s why I’d like to thank youuu for leaving me so speechless (only a few could do that) Keep it up okii? I’ll be rooting for you or more like we will be rooting for youuuu! Coz look at this bunch of players all eager to see what you got for them for the next chapters.
Anndd that would be all–oh wow I totally laid my personal opinion there–hehe but what can I say it hit me hard, right in the heart
Hey, hello! Apologies for taking a bit to answer, but welcome to the thread! And thank you for all your compliments, I really appreciate the support ^-^ It’s always great to hear that people are discovering and enjoying the story, as barebones as it might be.
I’m happy the cast has made an impression, even those who have only been there for a very short while (like Gloria, I’m very happy he’s made a big splash as he’s the one I was most worried about when writing). As for your power suggestion, it just so happens that I already have plans for a character that essentially has elemental manipulation, so the MC couldn’t quite get that one. Still though, the player’s powers are quite unique, and not very similar to anything most people have seen before, so don’t worry just yet.
The MC is quite the special cookie, for both good and ill.
Happy to hear you’re sticking around, by the way! Always great to see new additions to the group, you’re all pretty kickass.
Hello! I hope you’ve all been doing well. First things first, I… don’t have an update for you. Yet. I’m still working on it, I knocked out about 5k or so words from Sunday to today, so it should be out sooner rather than later, but ironically, the fighting part of the superhero story is harder to write than the romances. Would you believe me if I said I was worried about the opposite?
That said, because I know you’ve all been rather patient, I have a few snippets to show you all. They’re mostly short one-liners, but they cover stuff from the whole chapter, give or take. It’s purposefully made to be not in order, though, so don’t think you can figure out the beats of the chapter by using them:
Likewise, while working on the main meat, I’ve also done some side stuff. I don’t mean regarding the blog or anything, it’s actual codex stuff, like what @idonotlikeusernames suggested. I showed some of it on Tumblr, specifically the “civilian” profiles for Mars and Gloria, but there’s also just general information that I think would be relevant to the player. It will be unlocked as the chapters go along, but so far, I have four entries. They are:
Powers: Enhanced senses of sight and hearing, Thermoreception, Hyper-Awareness.
Real Name: Matthew Williams
Profession: Personal Bodyguard.
Matthew is a perplexing existence. He’s a powered person who works for someone that, at least on the outside, seems to detest powered people. He stands silently like a statue behind a man that seems poised to spout vitriol wherever he goes.
Some wonder why that’s the case. While it’s obvious why Stratton cannot get rid of him now - Matthew’s powers make him the perfect bodyguard, able to react to any attack while it’s still miles away - it’s not obvious why Matthew does not take his leave of the man. It’s mostly rumors, nothing concrete, but nevertheless reported that he’s made friends with some members of the League of Heroes. He could very possibly find a home among them, if he so wanted, and it’s a question why he has not chosen to do so.
Some have made their conclusions on the matter. On one aisle, we have those who think Matthew’s service to Stratton is proof that he agrees with the sentiments shared by the President. ‘He who serves a bigot is no less a bigot’, they argue. The highly politicizing situation across the country doesn’t lend itself to disprove this position, either. Stratton’s actions, not only regarding those who are powered, but also regarding other minorities, has not endeared him to them. Matthew may not be a symbol of their movement, but those on this side of this argument see him as a supporting pillar, at the very least.
On the other side, we have those who consider him an exemplar. No matter the attempts to squash it, rumors abound that the relationship between charge and bodyguard is… tense, to say the least. It may be behind closed doors, but there’s a fair chance that Mr. Williams is subject to the same idiocy Stratton directs at the rest of his kind. The fact that he does his duty in spite of it is something worth respect, they claim. Matthew knows where his skills are most needed, and he puts them to use no matter what.
The truth of the matter is…
Not known, actually. Mars, as he is known to the media at large, doesn’t entertain the line of questioning. Really, he seems almost dedicated to not talking about his personal life, and his lack of direct spotlight means nothing has been found. The only thing he’s shared is that he comes from a working-class family.
As for the rest of his secrets, well… They’re his to keep, it seems.
Profession: US Army Officer (2007-2015), Vice President (2016-2020), Acting President (2020-)
“With Gloria to Glory.”
Much can be said about the man standing in the podium next to Stratton. That he is a man of proven courage and skill is first. That he’s earned the trust of many with his charming words and rousing speeches is another.
That he’s landed in a position he never should have is the latest of them.
Born in 1986, whatever was expected of Marcus by his parents could not come close to what he became. Enlisting as a soldier at the young age of 18, Gloria graduated from West Point with honors, and first cut his teeth battling Taliban fighters in Afghanistan. There, he obtained several recognitions for valor and going above and beyond. The papers took to calling him ‘The Compleat Soldier’ because of it, once they found out yet another hero was fighting for America off its shores.
Yet that’s the beginning of Gloria’s story, not its ending. Coming back to the mainland in late 2015, Gloria sought to run for the House of Representatives in his home state, hoping to do what’s best for his people, he claimed. His popularity before throwing himself to the streets proved a bit too big a boon, however. Gloria was a hero of the nation, and it so happened that his campaign ended up eclipsing even that of candidates to far bigger offices. It became so big that some surveys around the country found that if he so wanted, he could have gone not for the House, but for the Senate, and perhaps even become a contender for the White House, had his age not made him a most non-traditional candidate.
But Stratton cared little for tradition. He sought an assurance, a checkmating piece that would turn his eventual victory into something not possible, but assured. |
And Gloria could do nothing but comply. He joined hands with the man, and went on to do a smashing campaign. Some claim that Gloria handed Stratton the White House. Others claim that all of Stratton’s acts as President can be blamed on the young soldier, for he is the reason Stratton is President at all.
Others… see him differently. While Stratton may be proof of the worst the system has to offer, Gloria stands opposite as the best there can be. His personal acts are faultless, at least. Traveling to Europe, he’s met with heads of state of the whole region, reassuring the world of the unity between the Old and New Worlds. He’s pushed a couple of initiatives to rework several flawed, but well-meaning systems put in place by administrations before his.
But now, that which so many used as an argument against him has come to pass. Marcus Gloria stands as the Acting President of the United States, and he has taken his seat at the most unstable of times. With Washington having been attacked, the threat of a King that once made his glory savaging an Empire, and having to rebuild the trust in the US that Stratton has spent the past 4 years ruining, the same thought rattles around in the brains of the whole world.
What, exactly, is Marcus Gloria made of?
Whoever tells you they do not know the City of Giants is lying to you. Be it in America proper, or in the farthest corners of Asia, Giga City has made the papers, both for good and bad reasons.
Originally the site of the Dutch colony of New Amsterdam, the region came under control of the British Crown in 1664 after a short period of armed conflict took place between the Dutch and the British. The British won the battle, but it cost them the life of the Duke of York.
Since then, and for the next 130 years, the region came under control of the Colony of Connecticut, before its growth (thanks mostly to its natural harbor and its strategic location for British and, eventually, American troops) led to it splitting off and becoming part of the newly created Giga State in 1794.
Ever since, Giga has been at the forefront of America. Abolishing slavery in 1801, repeatedly breaking the British blockade during the War of 1812, being the birthplace of people like Teddy Roosevelt or FDR, and, in the modern era, becoming home to the League of Heroes, the first ever coalition of powered beings working under the United States’ government.
An economic powerhouse since its founding, Giga City remains one of the most important and rich places in the USA. In it, we can find the headquarters of the United Nations, the internationally famous Lady of Liberty, the Empire State, and a dozen other monuments to the splendor of the city.
Of course, that’s not to say all is good. While the glory of Giga serves as a mark of pride for the Americans, it represents something entirely different to others. The United States is no stranger to the acts those with power do to those without, and there are plenty of people who may see the city as a mockery, the shining star of an empire that marches on, no matter who, or how many, it has to crush.
The Cretan Republic
Founded: 961 (Kingdom of Crete), 1019 (The Pacific Republic of Crete), 1734 (Cretan Republic).
Demonym: Cretan or Cretean.
Government: Unitary Presidential Republic.
Originally founded as the ‘Kingdom of Crete’ in 961, hot off the heels of the ‘Battle for Chandax’, the small island of Crete is a nation that has evaded the eye of many, and for believable reasons. Unlike the mighty empires who surrounded it for much of its history, Crete had no time for ruinous war. Sticking to a stance of total neutrality, the lands of the ancient Minoans has focused itself on that which moves the world. Slowly at times, rapidly at others, but forever consistently, the Cretans have cared for little more than trade, and making money off of it.
And it has worked. Despite being 1/66th the size of France, and over three hundred times smaller than India, the Cretan Republic’s economic might matches both. The refusal to get entangled in foreign debacles without need has led to a state that earns far too much money, and has nowhere to spend it but its own lands.
But Crete’s neutrality does not translate to weakness. Crete maintains armed forces that, while not as numerous as those of more populous states, are just as, if not more so, powerful. Aside from the United Kingdom, it is the only nation in Europe to command more than one aircraft carrier, for example, and its land forces account for more missiles than it knows what to do with. Crete’s military expenditures are also extremely large. For a GDP of 2.9 trillion, the portion of it that they dedicate to the so called “Cretan Defense Forces” makes the Cretan military the third best-funded one in the whole planet.
Yet the myth of Cretan neutrality is shattering, however slightly. Starting with their declaration of war on the Axis in the aftermath of Operation Mercury, Crete has begun to take some tentative steps towards foreign matters. After the end of the Second World War, the belief was that Crete would once more return to its island and close its doors to petitioners, and while it would appear they were right at first, it is not quite the truth. British rumors of Cretan military advisers to Egypt during the Suez Crisis were common, and the fact that the Cretans intervened in the fallout of the Six-Days War is undeniable.
Still, unlike most of the world, Crete beats its own drums. It will spurn the Americans, the Russians, and the Chinese all in the same breath. It does not seem to bend, or in fact even be subject, to much international pressure. And while it is true that Crete shares positive relations with the United States - they would have never obtained their air force’s F-35s otherwise - it seems that the Cretan populace sees the US as nothing more than a trade partner, instead of the hegemon of the West so many others treat it as.
And, of course, the resurgence of the Broken King’s myth brings even more questions to the fore…
It’s not direct story stuff (well, yet, at least. I guarantee some of it will come up soon enough), but I wanted to hear more or less what you thought of them. Do they give you the information that you expected? Is it enough to garner your interest?
Did they leave you with any questions? If so, which ones?
Were you expecting them to talk about something else? If so, what is it? I’ll try to add it, as long as it within reason.
Putting even that aside, there’s something else I wanted to get your thoughts on. Namely, start of chapter quotes. I notice a few other games use them, and personally I’m a sucker for them, so I’d like to introduce them to AToH. Some of them would be specific lines said in the chapter itself, while others would just be character quotes that are related to what the chapter tackles. I don’t want to make the opening pages too cluttered, so I’m a bit hesitant on signing off on them, but I worked on a few and I’d thought to see what you thought about them. If you like them, perfectamundo, I’ll try to see how to add them without overloading the pages, but if you don’t, please, feel free to let me know.
Either way, check under the cut for some of them:
“I am, more than anything else, a man of the people.” - Cretan President Minas, June 30th, seconds before officially declaring war on the whole of the Axis.
“The way the world treats powered people is fundamentally flawed. We bend over and give away all that they desire, throwing away billions to keep a scant few supposedly ‘loyal’ to us, only to be shocked when the remainder acts out on their base impulses. We’re like a child, really, that puts his hand over a flame, only to cry out when it inevitably burns him.” - Professor Julia Adams, Treatise on the Deal of the Powered.
“I told Adolf to stay out of that cursed island.” - Prime Minister Mussolini, being informed of the Cretan Navy sinking the Aquila.
“Babble no further, o old general of the East. Silently accept that your name shall be etched into history as the vanquished.” - Attributed to the Queen of Crete during the Battle for Chandax, 961.
“We survived the Byzantines, we survived the Ottomans, and we killed an empire meant to last a thousand years in a mere four. Crete desires nothing but peace in the world, but Allah have mercy upon he who thinks that Crete will not hit back once struck.” - Cretan Foreign Minister.
“There… There is more to life than this, my son. It was my job to show you that. But I suppose it is not only at war that I failed at.” - Secret.
“The King is a starving, beaten beast, with nothing to chew on but the chains that keep him tame. Now, only one of them remains. And when it breaks…” - Secret.
“So… Whose princess am I?” - Secret.
“For what it’s worth… I think I’d like her.” - Secret.
“You’re a fool. You’ve spent so long alone that you refuse to be anything but.” - Secret.
Also I wanted to make fun of the Nazis so have two more:
“'Tis nothing but dumb courage that propels him. How kind of the fool to save us the time of having to chase him down.” - Erwin Rommel, on being informed of Seeker’s attempt to break the German lines at El Alaimen, 1942.
“Hmph. So whether it be brains or brawn, I am no match. Truly, a monster.” - Erwin Rommel, last words. Two hours after the above.
Lastly, because I have asked quite a bit of you, there’s a certain enigmatic figure in this story that you won’t meet yet. He’s powerful, and everyone seems oh so determined to find him…
They have no idea where he is, though.
But they found his diary:
Thank you for reading this rambling mess of a post! Next up, and hopefully soon… Chapter 5.
Absolutely loved this!
Also if your gut says you should do the quotes. Then do 'em. Do what you feels best for you not us. We just here for ‘you’ & “your story”.
Anyways looking forward to the future update.
And yeah I totally believe you on the writing fight scenes. Got make sure that stuff flows and doesn’t skip or get mixed up somewhere, otherwise we get ourselves a dream scene one moment you fighting Doctor Who the next you showering. How did the scene change so quickly! lol.
That a side do take your time. If we waited this long, we can definitely wait a while longer.
Hey, great to hear from you. Hope everything is going well. Now gimme more Aki.
A little note: “It is the only nation besides the United Kingdom in Europe” should be “the only nation in Europe besides the United Kingdom”, otherwise “in Europe” is locating the United Kingdom and not qualifying “only nation”.
This is the first positive thing I’ve heard about Stratton, ever.
This is me. I’m Others. You don’t get to empower someone and then wash your hands clean of their doings.
I still don’t like or trust Gloria, and that slogan just makes things worse.
For a similar reason, I still don’t like Mars.
It me. I’m They.
“Just doing my job” got Nazis to dance the rope fandango at Nuremberg, and I find it no less of a self-condemnating excuse now than it was then.
On the journal, avoiding spoilers:
Nice move, having the King call the Americas “the East”.
I genuinely like the King. He seems like a good chap. Hope it doesn’t have to come to blows in the end.
EDIT: On that first line, fuck you, Forlorn. I’m a “him” or a “them”, not a “that”. Just because I’m dating Aki doesn’t give you the right to treat me like an object.
Aki can objectify me, though, if she wants.
gets murdered twice over by Forlorn
Now I’m wondering where the United Kingdoms that aren’t in Europe are located.
Sinn Feinn won the elections in Northern Ireland and Scottish independent sentiment is growing, so there might not be a United Kingdom in Europe for all that long, either.
Aww…but Mars is a young, cute and charming gentleman and it is most often that type or the bad boy I tend to fall for in fiction.
Besides, unlike Gloria, Mars already risked his cute ass to help us out. Even if you want to see Mars as guilty by association that at least could be the beginning of redemption.
Also thinking of maybe making a campaign trail fan game for this version of the US in the far future when we know much more. Maxwell/Maia vs either Gloria or Stratton.
My own mc was hardly enthusiastic at first either. Superhero is not an easy to contemplate profession after all when you either never had the skills or affinity for it for most of your life, like my mc, or a set of skills that lends itself more to some other profession, even if they are super powers, like Mars.
Mars will come around too I’m sure of it.
If it helps, I outright ask him about joining the League.
That’ll get me. Fixed!
Funny thing is that the statement is a technicality, anyway. What Crete has are two amphibious assault ships, but being American and all, they’re… bigger than most traditional carriers in other countries.
… Do you think they may be compensating for something?
Oh, come now, you don’t trust a man declaring that he’ll bring you to glory? I’m sure he has perfectly attainable goals, nothing extreme.
…I mean, it’s not like his name translates to anything, and it’s also not like I use so much symbolism that names are also hints…
The Queen thanks you for the compliment, I’m sure. Even in death, about 90% of the King’s actions are based on what she’d want.
…Though the jury’s out on what drives the remaining 10%.
Well, technically… would the UAE count? The Danish Realm is also partially in America, I suppose…
Not to worry, I have plans for Mars to prove his mettle soon enough! He’ll get the spotlight soon, as well as a chance to explain why he works with Stratton/Gloria.
Chapter 6 will mostly be a Nova/Mars/a bit of politics centered chapter, right before Chapter 7 and 8 bring the “plot” roaring back into place.
That’d be amazing! Chapter 5 brings up a bit of international politics into place, and shows the personalities of some of the people the US President has to work with (why, does it look like the French and the Germans don’t get along? That’s weird…), and Gloria had a certain plan he wanted to mention before being oh-so-rudely interrupted, so we’re gonna be seeing a few of his policies come up soon enough.
Game 2 is where politics will really come to the forefront, though. You have no idea.
Not unless he’s taking me to a stripclub where Glory is taking her clothes off, no.
Part of my concern is exactly that his goals might be perfectly attainable.
Pizza. He just can’t enough of that cheesy goodness.
XD this might be one of few times we agree. But yh we do need more Aki.
Inb4 I’m just doing you all a bait-and-switch that ends with the League joining hands with the King to depose the American President after he goes nutso.
… But I wouldn’t do that. No way. Right?
You have no idea how funny this is. I’ll keep it bookmarked specifically for when the truth comes out.
Aki will get her due soon, I promise. There’s actually a portion of Chapter 5 where she and Forlorn have the spotlight, and boy am I excited for you all to see that. It’s not every day that things go quite like that…
I’m cool with doing this before he goes nutso, too.
Can’t wait. It’d be funny if I somehow accidentally stumbled into a plot point while making an off-hand joke.
“The Broken King is too powerful! We can’t stop him!”
“There is… one way. But it’s a dangerous path we’ll have to tread.”
“The Broken King is…”
“…lactose intolerant!” pulls out a pizza
loud gasp “Wait. How’s that dangerous?”
“You won’t BELIEVE how terrible those farts are gonna be”.
Really liked it!
We’ll see. Anyway what would the political parties main colours be for the map? I was thinking of going with the classical market liberal deep yellow for the Liberation Party and Purple for the Revo’s?
On economics the Liberation Party seems to be closest to the Republican Party we all know and hate in that they seem to be some form of market liberal and want to protect the economic status quo in favour of those who are already well off. Culturally it is nothing like the current Republicans because this is US is just a lot more progressive culturally and even the Liberation party, as the more conservative one, seems to espouse something closer to Obama’s tech-bro neoliberalism.
As far as the colour while in most of the world red is the socialist colour and the Revo’s mainstream seems to be some form of social democrats in 'Murica red is either associated with the far from socialist Republican party on current electoral maps or hardline communism/Stalinism otherwise.
I could use green, but again the Liberation party seems far from being as anti-environment as the Republican Party is in fact their focus on the wealthy may make them seem more pro environment to many current conservationists, assuming the Revo’s still focus more on the much more dense cities.
Obviously brown and black are out of the colour consideration entirely for obvious reasons and my problem with blue is that while in the topsy turvy world of the US it stands for the current Democratic party in elections, where I live (deep) blue is the colour of the Conservatives.
I suppose since I like the idea, being a pinko commie myself, I could always just give in to my base instincts and use pink for the Revo’s.
Purple might not be ideal, as it is a colour that’s actually used in the real-world political map already. OTOH, we already have an (R) party, and it’s the opposite party, so maybe that ship has sailed already.
Hmmm, honestly, I was thinking the Revolutionary party would be purple, yeah. The Liberation and Revolutionary parties came about rather late in comparison, after World War 2. By that point, the national consciousness of America already associated red with “the left”, courtesy of the USSR, UK’s Labour, etc. It also helped that a lot of immigrants from Europe came to America shortly after WW2, which meant that they had that natural “blue is conservatives, red is socialist”.
The purple would be a compromise, “the best of the Dems mixed with the red of the future.”
The Liberation party would likely be some sort of blue and yellow mix, honestly. They want to imply that they’re not as bad as Republicans, but they want to give a sense of familiarity to the newer citizens, who don’t all exactly… share the love of socialism and such.
For a given definition of it, to be entirely fair. It’s true that LGBTQIA+ people are less targeted (although that goes more for homosexuals and bisexual people, as it does irl), but there’s still a lot of cracks. It’s not really obvious, but Nova seems to have somewhat of a distrust towards the police in Chapter 3, Ignis has a lot of legitimate grievances against the Liberation Party, and, of course, the American people did elect Stratton. And as you can see from Nova’s depiction during the WH Correspondent’s Dinner, Stratton and his aides have some, uh… some thoughts on the irregular (read: non-white) immigrant.
If the MC spends much time with Latooni, they’ll likely see another aspect of it. As I’ve mentioned, she’s half-Japanese, and there’s a certain portion of America that thinks that Seeker made it so Japan got off too lightly.
There’s a lot of victories in this version of the US, but that just means it’s easier to concentrate on other ugly aspects. America’s foreign policy isn’t really any better than irl, and there’s not really any sort of noticeable political current that denounces America’s actions.
Natives are still just as oppressed as irl, as the King’s diary mentions, America still got involved in plenty of regime change in South/Central America and Asia, and most of the establishment doesn’t exactly care. Gloria’s personal position can more or less be summed up with “Vae victis”, and the rise of superheroes has led to a more militaristic approach in certain circles.