I made a short trial scene with a premade character.This is mainly to experiment with features and
writing style.I am using a premade character because I am struggling with the stats system.
Writing is fluent enough to make someone like me (who hasn’t got any interest in airplanes or the whole genre of it )read it without boredom.
I can give a low level feedback though. A space after a dot or a coma is used generally by most writers to make it more easier to read. So i would suggest a space after starting a new sentence but it’s of course up to your liking.
Short but rather enjoyable demo so far, I like what you did with it! Your writing is very good.
A few suggestions:
I was slightly surprised to see F-5s escorting bombers and squadron leader telling us they “posed a serious threat”. It’d be a target practice to face F-5 for any fighter with radar missiles. Maybe change it to a Tornado GR1 or Phantom II?
Flogger used R-24, not R-27 - it’s Flankers and Fulcrums main mid range radar-guided armament.
Did Tomcat fire AIM-54 at fulcrum? You could use this as his ultimate weapon, I think. When a bad guy can shoot you down from a large distance and your RWR keeps silent until the hunk of metal flying at you goes pitbull.
Distance in aviation is measured in nautical miles (or just miles). Airspeed - in knots. Warsaw pact used metric, not sure if anyone would care about that though
You’ve used male surname form for Nadia, it needs an “a” at the end: Sabinkova.