A Prophecy Undone (WIP) (10/May: new scene added, 90k words)

Lol I actually love playing ridiculous builds so it’s fine. Unless this is going to be one of those games with lots of failure leads to death choices? I’m assuming not based on the checks so far.

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Ah, no, but you might miss some information. Still, there are … about 3 fights that might lead to death scenes. And about 2 non-fighting scenarios that MC might die if they fail the check, but these scenarios only appear if MC does something incredibly reckless.

Maybe I should also include some bonus scenes if one or more of MC’s stat is/are too low just for some lols. Alas, that’s a matter to consider after the alpha build.

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@Beth_M i personally wouldn’t do that last thing you suggested you might but it’s not my story I love the story so far though but there are a few wrong gender mistakes you might want to look for

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Oh okay! That’s a valid point. I am just thinking about the obsidian games I played where MC gets to be super dumb for hilarious dialogues (and they proceed to miraculously pass the checks).

I’ll look into the gender mistakes these few days. If you don’t mind, could you post some screenshots? (But if you can’t, that’s alright too).

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@Beth_M i might when I replay but that might not be until next update I’m the type of person no matter how good I can’t just replay something back to back I start playing something else until something new is added

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No worries! Thanks a lot for the heads-up. I will look into the mistakes.

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I’m mostly a huge fan of enemies to lovers but I personally don’t see any way that would make sense for mc to romance Lysandra a ruthless mc would want revenge a kind one would maybe understand or forgive if it was a good reason but I don’t see any wanting to romance I like the character I just don’t see how the romance will work

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And it seems like she treats the mc poorly as well

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I’ve just finished reading, the concept is very promising.

  • All RO’s are very engaging and different from each other. Very good!
  • The mechanics are fun
  • That said, I suggest adding an option to skip dice mechanics or adding checkpoints to the final version of the game. It might put some people off (see: common criticism for Talon City and Breach).
  • I think I got a bug in that fight with thugs - I rolled a 10 in Agility but failed the fight, I went back and chose to cast a spell, rolled a 5 and it was a win.
  • I found some typos and grammar switches between tenses sometimes (including the OP post) - would you’d like a list?
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I Like The Dice Rolls

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He is trying to provoke me, you told yourself.

“Roses are such interesting specimens. A symbol of love, and I find it embodies it quite aptly. People were often too entranced by the flower to notice the thorns.” He turned the flower around. The water droplets on the crimson petals glittered ominously.

Pronoun mismatch, the Hand is female in this playthrough

Your heart sank the moment Emil shook his head. “Niece. Lysandra is - was my brother’s friend. She could not have killed him. Perhaps you saw her with the body, but it did not mean she is the killer.”

Gender mismatch, I’m a prince here, not a princess.

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Oh, intresting

If we reject Ateus’s offer- the wound on Lysander/Lysandra’s chest, looks like the head of the Wolf.
If we accept God’s offer, - Lysander/Lysandra has a sunburst-shaped wound ( the sun and fire represent Ateus)

Summary

So, Lysander/Lysandra is always against any god we choose to serve, and L sees our chosen God as an enemy? :thinking:
Because of existence of the wolf-shaped wound, there is a possibility, that the wolf had nothing to do with Ateus’s vessel assassination, and The Sun God is wrongfully blaming the Wolf. Maybe both gods were “victims”?
In the past, “Someone” could have tried to get rid off those two opposing gods, by murdering their vessels and not allowing them to be reborn. Without forever fighting Gods, the religious conflict between Sútfold and Istegar would die out naturally.

Also, are there any other gods in this world?
Is the Wolf really “the bad guy”?
I guess their followers doesn’t see them as an evil entity. (Survival of the fittest? )
We were able to hear only one the side of this conflict.

I am definitely waiting for more lore, it seems solid :wink:

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Prince, the games that tend to interest me most are those where I can play gay guys.

No, Lysander could defeat mc’s father when he was the chosen easily, so my mc does not trust Ateus to be able to protect him. He also doesn’t necessarily want the throne or start another war of conquest in the north. His uncle is an ass but his cousin seems smart enough, besides nobody would trust a mad prince to lead them, and he’d prefer the status-quo with another Hand to being made some sort of figurehead or having to marry the true and invariably female claimant of the North. Technically taking back the throne and marrying the true and female claimant of the north would fulfill the prophecy and make mc, or rather mc’s kid the one to unite both realms, but my mc is not exactly in favour of being married to a woman who would then most likely become regent of both realms on account of mc being widely assumed to be mad.

No, since everybody is quite convinced he is mad anyway he takes ample advantage of the only perk that really affords him…to buck social convention whenever it suits him.
Besides I think my mc hasn’t really worn anything that isn’t black since the death of his father. It has been so long that he started to like it and black is his colour now.

Point buy on forty points easy mode.

It sure is and it seems Lysander may be as much of a victim as the mc in all of this. However he still killed my mc’s father in front of his eyes, convinced everybody mc was mad and taunted them for years on the council, so while I as the reader may feel for the guy I’m afraid it doesn’t exactly move my mc to tears at this point.

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Sorry for the late reply, everyone. Just got off from work.

@Bleakprophecyyy L is set as an antagonist of the story, so they would come off as the enemy in early chapters. With that being said, I understand this one is probably not for every reader, but that’s fine.

@saggittarius I will defintely look into adding a skip-dice mechanic. And the dice roll is the higher the worse (more like warhammer fantasy), so maybe that is the reason? (But I should go back to check if I did the correct stat as well). I appreciate if you can post where the switches are! I probably missed it when I tried to iron everything out.

@stsword Thank you. Those should be fixed.

@Julasu I think you are onto something :wink: Currently there isn’t any god other than these two, but this is not always the case. And yes, I will let readers decide if there is truly one evil and one good god! Or there is no good entity.

And your point about religion conflict - it’s very close to the truth!

Thanks for reading my work!

@idonotlikeusernames Ooooh, I love your MC. His choices would certainly lead him down a very interesting path! Not many would reject Ateus’ offer, and I applaud his courage.

L defintely is still the enemy in early chapters. The MC’s view might change (if you choose to) when they learn more about the Hand’s past (and why did they kill your father). And it is still perfectly valid for MC to kill him even after knowing the true motives behind L.

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This should say princess not prince.

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Thank you, should be fixed!

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mc @ the hand: i want my dad back, you son of a bitch

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Lysander/Lysandra didnt kill Mc back then, and whatever L’s plan was, we weren’t supposed to see the murder of our father. We were the ‘inconvenience’ that L should have gotten rid of. However, L took a risk and they did not kill us, unless they need us for something. But I believe, Mc has thwarted L’s plots by absorbing the God’s essence, which wouldnt happend, if we were also killed.

I have not tried to excuse Lysander/Lysandra deeds, I am trying to analise the character. To find L’s motivation, why they did this, what they have gained, and what they believe in, simply what is their perspective.
While looking for clues , I try to be as objective as I can, which is why I have not said a word about my personal opinion about L.

And, like you, @idonotlikeusernames, I am unable to forgive someone who has premeditatedly hurt my family member.

Summary


MC is forced to regularly interact with the murderer
and I swear, i wouldn’t be able to do this. Stupidly, I would lost my temper and end up in the prison cell for attempting to murder the Hand, with a pair of rusty scissors :triumph: :rage:


Also, Mc was a kid when they saw their dad being murdered and betrayed.
This definitely would left an imprint on any child, and Mc could easily grow into a cold and mistrusting adult (Hello Wolf! :wolf:)

There was an additonal risk for Mc. After being under such pressure for years, Mc as a victim, could have started to doubt themselves and rationalize the behavior of their abusers " it happens to me because i deserve it", " if everyone calls me crazy, maybe there’s a legitimate reason", BUT thankfully our Mc has not been broken by the court, there is no mention of their doubts in what they saw. ( willpower +100! :+1: )

Still, because of being " soft in the head ", Mc has lost the throne. Sadly, to the end of their days, Mc will be remembered as a crazy ex-prince/ss ( or “if” crazy King/Queen). Statememt “Mc is just mad” is just too easy and simple argument to not be used by Mc’s enemies. They will regularly and publicly undermine Mc’s sanity. People just love simple arguments. No enemy will not lower themselves to use such a low and unfair vilification

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Who is to say something like that hasn’t happened when the mc was younger and more impulsive, unfortunately L. is far too skilled a mage to be felled by a kid with a dinner fork, as he killed daddy dearest at the height of dad’s power as a chosen one, and it would only have given them more ammunition to paint the mc as crazy and themselves as caring and compassionate towards poor “crazy” mc.

If you want, my mc doesn’t trust Ulfric any more than Ateus however and will try to forge his own path without the gods.

MC is still a prince and for the moment still second in line to the throne, if that changes I figure it is only when our cousin becomes a father himself. Even then, depending on how the system works, mc may still remain a prince or be demoted to cadet branch with a lesser title.

I agree probably no changing the crazy part though, which is one of the reasons my mc isn’t keen on the throne. It is one thing to convince a small number of people mc isn’t really crazy but at this juncture convincing the general population or even a majority of the nobility is likely a non-starter. Which is why I see the easiest way of fulfilling the prophecy for the mc would be to help the true and sadly female claimant in the North regain her throne first, then marry her and convince enough influential people back home to pull off a palace coup.
But, like I said, my mc hasn’t got much interest in any of that, besides the fact that it would require him to marry a girl it also wouldn’t make him a King with any real power as in that case the wife would likely be regent until the first child comes of age due to mc’s “madness”.
It would sorta fulfill the prophecy though but my mc would rather make his own fate.

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The child alwas inherits from parents first. The line of succession has been changed. Mc is in the right age to be called the rurler, alas uncle have not gaven back the throne. He has not been called “just” the regent ether. Which means Mc is no longer the main heir apparent to the throne. According to the court ( and surly the King support this too) , the actual king’s child, the cousin, has full right to the throne before Mc. The cousin holds even Mc’s old title.

Mc can claim their rights by accusing their uncle of appropriation and treason. To this Mc would need a power base.

Summary

Finding supporters from the outside would be the easiest solution, but Mc would be called the betrayer of their country…but Mc is already ‘mad’, so whatever, i would go with it, unless…

The other way i could think of, is be grassroots initiative. If Mc is the chosen one of their God, and it is publicly known, Mc can gain the support of the church, or just threaten them “Without me, there is no your god”
The church is powerful organization which is able to affect the masses. Also, Ateus has claimed that he helped the king gain respect among the soldiers( i believe that Ateus takes too much credit for himself). It would look like a French Revolution (without democracy but with thesame zealots) The religious uprising, ‘officially’ started by the common people.

I believe I ve seen this in the text : there’s a rumor about the pup who escaped the slaughter, and there was a mention that rules have changed since the attack. So perhaps it does not have to be ‘her’?