Fixed! Than you for letting me know!
Both flashbacks were very well done, they do a great job introducing and setting the tone for MC’s relationship with both parents even though you only focus on one. I think the Halloween one is my favorite though, I feel like you get a few more (obvious, at least) tidbits of plot.
Spoilers for update and potential spoilers from Tumblr. Mostly just spitballing theories but better safe than sorry.
So is MC’s mother somehow involved in the more magic side of the world? As someone fully aware of it and capable of using magic, I mean. The tattoo seems pretty magic, at least. It might also be why Caleb seems to see all kinds of fae creatures and maybe how we were able to end up defying fate (though Caleb is kinda the instigator there, too). Because I got the impression from Tumblr that we kinda hijacked Zeus’s artifact.
I’d also be willing to bet that the interest Luis has in the MC’s family comes from mom’s side… I wonder if Luis is somehow related to all the weirdness going on, knowing that.
Anyway I’m very excited to see more and super happy this is going to be a series.
i’ve only had caleb for a day and a half but if anything happened to him i would kill everyone in this room and then myself
also some typos
“and you so you” seems strange
shoudn’t it be “you’re attacking”?
“…a bright envelops your senses” i believe a noun is missing
the ice batters
i thought caleb was five during the babysitter flashback?
maybe it’s just me, but “some three weeks ago” sounds strange
Hard same tbh.
And for some reason I keep imagining Caleb as that kid from Up which totally isn’t helping.
AGGHH I was just getting really invested and then it ended! T.T I can’t wait for more
Since you had brought up mother dearest (who I can now say with even more certainty is not getting any parents’ day gift just like the father):
The mother’s mark and overall reaction to Caleb’s claim to seeing a hobgoblin has actually raised great number of suspicions on her from my end…since it seems she may be a lot more aware of the mythological world than she wants to let at the moment.
There was something odd about the way she kept adamantly denying the idea that Caleb. It wasn’t like how a parent dents the existence of the Easter Bunny or Santa: it was as though she wanted to do everything she could to deny the idea of something mythological was at play, to the point of being willing to blaming Caleb. She claims it’s because she truly believes Caleb had caused that action, but I currently don’t buy that (Feels like she has a little more awareness than the father in a sense).
And the whole affair thing seems to be heavily implied at this point even on the mother’s end, so it seems there is a good of truth on the father’s end on that matter. Playing River (who leans heavily on the Stoic side) they actually took note of a lacy unmentionable that was trying to be hidden amongst their mother’s work blouses. And that clearly is something of significance for the mother, since she seemed kind of reactive to the fact that her child clearly took note of that. But here’s the thing: we have yet to figure out why she’s having a affair in the first place. Heck, that magic mark of hers has honestly made me wonder if she’s actually doing this affair to gain some magic related benefit…one that harbors more of cost than a crumbling marriage and disintegrating relationship with her children…if she even has any actual care toward them anymore (Gotta admit, I LOVE how little River could coldly remark that their mother had no right to play the parent card when she was barely around to be a parent to begin with; loved the way the mother was actually stunned silent. Though Duran having the guts to declare that he knew Caleb better than his own mother at that point was an equally great steam release). Again though, that currently makes her actions even worse: because that mean she’s VERY much willing to sacrifice a number of things in her life to gain something she feels is completely worth those losses (if that’s even the reason she’s having a affair to begin with).
Also just putting this out there but…in number of fantasies, runes are often etched on to the skin in a way that seems similar to that of a tattoo. And we know that Luis apparently has a good amount of knowledge of runes himself. Just something to think about.
This was pretty good. I’m not all that great being SUPER descriptive in feedback I provide. But nothing really stuck out to me spelling wise that bothered me and the pacing felt okay.
I only have one major issue. Why are chocolate and vanilla the only two flavors of Ice Cream? This is a crime. I demand Strawberry!
Yep, a lot of the same thoughts crossed my mind, ( including Luis and mom’s mysterious magic tat, 'cause, you know, he really needed to be even creepier)
I don’t know why but I feel like their should be a option in the Halloween flashback to outright claim your mother doesn’t care about you. I know you can insult her as a parent or just be quite but their really isn’t a response to make her feel bad. When I say feel bad I mean like she tears up or tries to comfort you telling you that she loves you or something like that.She just gets angry pretty much no matter what you do which I felt was kind of strange when you stay quite. She just yells at you for no reason pretty much.
How do you get to the Halloween flashback? I haven’t encountered the mother yet.
Go left instead of right.
Everytime the scene include Caleb, I’m dying inside of how cute he is.
This scene remind me of the video of the baby deer.
can’t help but raise your voice to match your mother"s
Can you also implement a save system ? I replay the flashbacks every time cause want to pick all the options but I have to replay the whole thing again (not that it’s a bad thing but sometimes I pick an options I don’t like and have to go back)
Progress Update (06/03)
Mercury’s Limbo scenes are rewritten! And I’ve gone through to edit some various typos in the Memories! I’ve started rewriting Hemera now and I’ve written a few lines for waking up after the limbo scenes. As of right now, I’ve written about four thousand words this week!
Now, for some replies!
The people have spoken! Strawberry shall be added!
This is kind of the point of the scene; there isn’t really a response that will make the MC’s mother try to comfort them or tell them she loves them. This scene is meant to push home a narrative that the MC’s mother is very far gone down whatever path has led her to be consistently gone from her family. I will, however, add a few options to try and evoke these feelings from the MC’s mother. It may even help further this narrative. Thank you for your feedback!
That’s something I’ve been working on! But…I’m not very confident in my coding skills when it comes to this type of thing. I promise I’m definitely trying to work the save system in (I might go code lurking in some of the WIPs that have save systems just to see how they did it when it came to coding.)
There’s a save plug-in that can be included by default in Dashingdon. It’s found here:
I can understand that view point and I can only imagine how our patron might react if they ever met our mother especially some of our more volatile patrons.
that moment when you and a character share the same name
Holy craaap. This is soooo sooo good. You play on my heartstrings like a damn harp musician author!!! i cried. Like literally cried, it was just too close to home. I mean my parents are still together but they always fight pretty heavily. The amount of protectiveness that i feel for my siblings are through the roof irl too even though im the youngest. My older sister…just really knows how to act like a dumb bitch sometimes hahaha but i still love her, i wanna kill her but like DAMN i would kill an entire generation of family for her. I am sooo soooo in love with caleb. i wanna protect him foreeeeveeeer. Jesus christ, that flashback with our mom and dad was too heartbreaking. At first i was so pissed at our dad but when i played through the mom’s memory, i sorta get why he acts like that now. ughhhh. im drowning on feels now srsly. I love it. I hope to see more in the future!
Oooh this is so exciting! I love this game!
I was so disappointed (in a good way) when the demo ended
The way you implemented the height customisation is so casual too. The scenario is so simple that is doesn’t distract from the story at all, it’s just one of those normal everyday happenings.
Sorry if it’s a bit odd to get overexcited about something so small, I was just really impressed about how fluid it was
That not to say that the rest of the demo isn’t of course! It’s all refreshingly captivating.
Also, just a little thing (sorry):