Wow. I usually don’t like this kinda MC, but you’ve done a great job - reading this really hurts. I’m in love with the game!
Edit: a couple of wrong pronouns (Alex was supposed to be female in this playthrough. Also, I suppose it was intended for just a male - Alex to have the scent of aftershave?)
Definitely not the healthiest way to approach the day off but definitely something I’ve done especially when I was in that kind of state of mind (luckily I got help and got out of that very negative self-loathing mindset). Crazy how relatable I found some of the scenes.
Also the co-worker is soo sweet and hoping that option of not sure what this is yet can progress to develop the relationship in the future days
@Hostage were you playing a male MC by any chance? I think I mixed up the genders in the aftershave line (the female Alex wears “perfume”!). I’ve fixed it now though, thanks for letting me know
I honestly love this kind of story—the simplicity of the premise really drives in the weight of the MC’s mental state. Not yet sure exactly how I feel about the short timeframe—my experience is that three days isn’t really enough to effect any sort of meaningful change with this kind of issue, at least not in the long term—but the writing in general is strong enough that I’m willing to wait and see how it plays out.
One thing I’d suggest would be for there to be an option to agree to Alex’s invitation but not be quite so enthusiastic about it? It was clear to me that I was missing out on a lot of content by saying no, but I just couldn’t see myself being as elated about the invitation as the one agreement option would seem to imply. If I were in that situation, I could maybe see myself agreeing out of sheer loneliness while still expecting the worst, just to give one example.
Alternatively, perhaps the MC could feel guilty or ashamed if they said no, and agree out of some sort of misplaced social obligation? Maybe tie that into the anxiety stat somehow.
The former text can be unlocked if we picked ( #You show a grim smile. “I’d like to, but… I can’t tomorrow. I’m sorry.”). But the meeting at the night wouldn’t have been agreed on.
Summary
Hey pals! Since this is a young adult slice of life, I had fun including various references within the game.
In case anyone enjoyed the first day and is now curious about them, I’ve written a list below. It may contain some minor spoilers, but nothing serious, I promise! (Still, I’ve blurred them individually so you can choose what to display and what to avoid.)
List in here!
Best Friend’s surname and email address: Best Friend’s last name is Saxby, a typical British surname. It is also a reference to Johnny Saxby, the main character in Francis Lee’s “God’s Own Country,” played by Josh O’Connor. “Cmail” is obviously a parody of Google’s popular email provider service.
The painter appreciated by Best Friend: the mentioned painter, Otto Mueller, was a precursor of Expressionism in Germany. Expressionism was an artistic movement that focused on the subjectivity of the human experience.
Best Friend’s ex partner: in case your MC is male, the Best Friend’s ex is called “Gheorghe”. This is a joke based on the BF’s last name: in “God’s Own Country,” Johnny’s partner is named Gheorghe.
FriendBook: come on, this one’s easy It’s also a reference to my other IF, After Dark, in which FriendBook is featured as an interactive social network.
Best Friend’s date: their name, Mackenzie, is gender-neutral; however, I was inspired by actress and model Mackenzie Foy, known primarily for her stunning beauty.
Achlys: Achlys isn’t a made-up name but the transliteration of Ἀχλύς, the Goddess personification of sorrow in ancient Greek mythology.
The pop music song: the lines “…and then change your number / I guess that I don’t need that though / Now you’re just somebody that I used to know” are from “Somebody That I Used to Know,” a song by Gotye. It talks about the closure of a dysfunctional relationship.
The electronic music song: the lines “…but the sun don’t shine, / The sun don’t shine, / Without you,” are from “Sonnentanz,” a song by Klangkarussell. It talks about a new love.
The rock music song: the lines "…it’s Friday I’m in love / Saturday wait / Sunday always comes too late / But Friday never hesitate," are from “Friday I’m in Love,” a song by The Cure. It talks about the feelings felt by the band during Fridays, comparing them to those experienced on other days.
The late at night song: the lines “Know I’ll be there / You will never be alone / All I need is your love tonight” are from “Love Tonight,” a song by Shouse. It talks about a phone call that leads to a night of love.
The club: the name of the club, “Woven,” is a parody of a real London club, Fabric, known to be one of the most renowned clubs in Europe.
The DJ and the trance song: uplifting trance is a specific music genre born in Germany. In particular, here MC and fellow coworker are watching DJ ATB perform his single “Ecstasy.”
Hi @CorvusWitchcraft, good point! Here’s the reason for my choice. When MC responds enthusiastically, they “blurt out” that answer, to the point that even the coworker giggles and MC blushes, embarrassed. This usually happens at times when you want to force yourself to do something, caught up in the emotion of the moment, only to often regret it later (the option to just get dressed, since you’re “regretting it already”).
What you suggest is a moderate, balanced response: a balance that MC lacks at the moment.
@Hostage great eye! I just fixed everything. I had completely overlooked the first point. Thanks!
I don’t see it this way at all, I really feel that what I suggested is just a different kind of extreme and also unhealthy in its own way. My experience with depression has been much closer to the kind of response I’ve described, and this:
has not been my experience at all. When I force myself to do something, I overthink and stress about it the entire time, but usually don’t openly express my feelings outwardly. The regret is still there, the shame and embarrassment and feelings of humiliation are still there, but the emotional kneejerk reaction is not. The latter isn’t always a prerequisite of the former.
But if this type of response is important to the specific kind of MC and specific mental issues you’re trying to depict, then fair enough, I guess I can live with that. It’s just not the kind of thing I can really relate to.
I’m sorry, as you can well imagine there are many different ways to react to the same situations. Anyway, the game goes on even if you don’t meet up with your coworker–it’s not a forced path–and the night can be “ruined” even if you decide to go out.
I’ll think about your words for future updates, thanks for your input.
I can barely focus on writing one story, and here I’ve come across two of your WIPs? Insane. I love it.
Now, this is interesting. I primarily go toward things that have a bit more action but wanted to give this a shot. I’m so glad I did. I’ve felt those days off work where I know I need to do something like clean, and I just … can’t. It’s cool (or unfortunate?) that I can relate a bit to this MC off the bat.
With three different endings, I’ve already crafted a couple of characters to go through this just to eventually reach these endings. Like I wonder if the BF/crush will be back from vacation in time to see MC with Alex in that route? That would be entertaining. I’m also looking forward to just how good or poorly things can go for this MC.
At first, I thought just three days is way too short. But a good deal happened in just one day that I’m just sitting here in anticipation of the next two.
Thanks for yet another good read. I wish you well with this one.
Thank you very much, @Kel08. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.
To be honest, as a traditional fiction author I’ve always written introspective dramas. Let’s just say that After Dark is my true narrative experiment, while A Long Weekend is a more familiar setting for me.
(You may have also noticed this in my first IF attempt, “The Envelope”, originally written with Squiffy and later transformed with ChoiceScript as exercise—you can find it here.)
I hear you, though. We all have our personal Achlys, more or less powerful, and we all have more or less healthy ways of coping. Hopefully more healthy than not.
This is a great start, I don’t typically like to read MCs with deep/disturbing emotional issues as a given, but I was engaged and okay with it in your story. Love the characters and dialogue. Minor critique is the voice in the head (Achlys). I don’t get why it is female by default (I assume it is by default, I play as a gay man so maybe it changes and I’m unaware), It’s the only thing that threw me out of it, I just would never have a female voice in my head talking back me so it was a bit jarring. Perhaps there is a plot reason why this is the case and we don’t know it yet, but irl the voices in my head all sound a lot like mine lol.