A Dragon's Wish | WIP July 8, 2023 | 4k words

Very intriguing premise! I look forward to reading more. My only complaint right now is that the writing seems to flop back and forth between past and present tense. The first page reads “You can’t help but to throw a grin at your reflection in the mirror as you put on your clothes as quickly as possible,” which is present tense but then it’s immediately followed by “Today was the day!” which would work better if the story was written in past tense. As it is, “Today IS the day” sounds much better.
Then later there’s “A pang of pain and loss hit your heart as you rememberED your beloved Dragon just as it always DID when you THOUGHT back on him. You HADN’T had that close feeling of companionship since then.” The capitalized stuff is all past tense, which is inconsistent with the mirror page.
It’s a small detail, and maybe I’m the only one bothered by it, but, personally, it really threw me off and I found myself thinking more about what tense this was supposed to read as than what the actual story was. Sorry for the long reply for this one detail, but I want to make sure my point is clear!
On a good note, I think it’s cool that the ROs are route specific. I’ve always thought it would be interesting to have a story like that, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually encountered it before! I just hope I end up liking it in practice as much as I like it in theory


The prologue has me intrigued, and as a big fan of dragons, I’d definitely keep an eye on this WIP. You’re right, there hasn’t been enough dragon stories here at CoG and HG.

That said, I’ve noticed that there is an inconsistent switching between past and present tense usage. For interactive fictions like this, I’d recommend using present tense, excluding when you’re narrating events from the past.

Anyway, keep at it, @serafino.

But can we play as a dragon? I so wish someone made a story where you can do that. I don’t want to be a human. I want to be a dragon.

@Anime_lover Have you ever played a game titled “Choice of the dragon”? As far as I remember it’s an old game by Choice of Games, where you can play as a dragon. It’s very good. I played it several years ago. Give it a try if you want. I think that you can find it in COG app or as a separate app published by COG in Play Store and etc. depending on your device.

1 Like

Ahh thats one of the first COC games that i played.

This topic was automatically closed 60 days after the last reply. If you want to reopen your WiP, contact the moderators.