Played up to finding the claw marks, found some errors and strange lines.
Suffering from some of the worst biological contamination in the planet, you originate from a vast sprawl or urban devastation.
Should be "sprawl of urban devastation."
"Shut up talking and remind me once again where it is that I am?"
Should be either "Shut up and" or "Stop talking and". And no question mark if it isn't phrased as a question.
Rhys Jackson, "Cold-headed"
Not sure what this nickname means. Is it cool-headed, like doesn't lose his cool?
"I doubt any of your useless militia will be any bloody good to me, and for your sake I hope your mechanics haven't ruined my ATC"
Sounds odd for my North American character to say "bloody" as an interjection.
Regarding the stats screen, "Treason" usually refers to a crime, rather than a general lack of loyalty.
She then shouts proceeds to call out these names, and seconds later two members of the militia start to walk towards where you are standing, while the captain continues.
Should be "shouts" or "proceeds to call", not both.
They said mercs are usually paid half up front, but when I hired Bernard, I lost the full 300.
"My name is Rhys, I'm a Highway Marshall under on an official mission for Captain Fernandez"
"under" is unnecessary here.
At the exit of the village, there is a sign indicating the road that leads north onto the A-11 motorway, or you could continue westwards along the N-122.
Aren't we going east?
The only way westwards at this point is through Los Villaesterres.
Actually, you are slightly surprised to see the candles, and immediately after walking in a man dressed as a priest incorporates himself.
"incorporates" doesn't make sense here.
Finally, Raquel finishes changing the wheel and you can proceed your journey.
"proceed" is not transitive, should be "proceed on your" or "proceed with your", or maybe "continue your".