yes, and I kinda do want to keep MC’s fear as it is BECAUSE MC is aware of what Nyarlathotep is, and WHOSE messenger he is. Marsh, for example, behaves more like one of Lovecraft’s cultists, ready to summon Nyarlathotep willy-nilly. There’s a gap between humans and MC <_____>, and then there’s a GAP between any form of life and the Other Gods <______________________>
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I’ve never heard of the Nazzadi. And technically, you did see a Mi-Go (when N takes the form of one). But no, generally, I don’t plan to have a huge bestiary of eldritch monsters running around. There are already too many. On just one island. Like, there’s already N, MC, and Cthulhu, and now Mi-Go are flying in from Pluto? The unluckiest town in the UK 
If/when I have more creatures, I want them to be related to the forces already established. Maybe when you go into the Dreamlands, though, that’s a good place to find something weird (although Mi-Go are not mentioned in “The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath”, and considering that in the game we’re visiting “earth’s dreamland”, I don’t think we’ll find Mi-Go there)
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That’s fair but we are still a Great Old One, our minds are (literally) more multidimensional than pretty much all other lifeforms other than other Great Old Ones and the Outer/Other Gods (albeit most of the Outer Gods don’t really have minds of their own excluding Nyarlathotep and Azathoth (only kinda on Azathoth though due to being eternally asleep as long as reality exists), they just kinda exist to fulfill their function) so we could be scared shitless but also be frothing at the mouth level raging but also long for N but also be completely calm all at the same time yet paradoxically separately and only present one of the above states externally if you wanted to write it like that.
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Update was amazing as always, lookin forward to more!
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Thank you for the update! That last scene was quite the Lovecraftian sitcom ( I mean that in a very positive way) - so MC is here in podunk prison island because of an overly persistent teenage Old-God spawn secret admirer? Incredible, iconic.
This has quickly become one of my favourite WIPs!
A few more typos/grammar things I caught
Summary
“you spent” should be (depending on what you mean) “you to spend” or “you would spend”/“you’d spend” or “you to have spent”
Clothing descriptions
The clothing descriptions are a little awkward - they make complete sense, but can read not quite right for native English speakers. Sometimes there’re articles before objects (i.e., “a” “the” “an”), sometimes there aren’t, and the sentence structures could be tweaked to make better sense.
For example, the above makes more sense grammatically as: “… theatre suit and white satin blouse … The skirt has a peplum, the blouse a low-cut back.”
The next option would then be more consistent if it also started with “A” before “fashionable”.
The first option above might benefit from reading “with a red sleeveless shell”. I also wasn’t sure what “sparked” meant here?
The second one might be better as “A completely lined coat over a strapless sheath of the same exciting lamè.”
It’s a pretty small part of the game
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@terracotta Thank you so much!
fixed all but two
(I don’t understand what’s wrong with number 2, and number 5 is a quote: this is where the MC’s mind starts going off the rails until the narration is completely done with nothing but quotes, mostly play quotes).
The clothing descriptions I copied from 1960s doll fashion booklets/magazines as they were, including the missing articles (there are also no articles at all in my native language, so sometimes these things are not super obvious to me—so thank you for explaining how to fix the mistakes—but here I just copied the magazine descriptions).
“Sparked” was in there too, idk like, the red rose is like a spark? As in, the hat is accented by a small, eye-catching detail ie a spark.
But yeah, the clothing descriptions are a nightmare, but I’m scared of getting stuck trying to fix them
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You’re completely welcome!! I’m always worried it comes off as picky but hopefully it is helpful - I’m always in awe of people who write IF games, I think my head would start swimming with all those variables and brackets and things!!
Summary
I’ve never seen the word inmost used before so I’m pleased to have learnt something new! The used of “sparked” in that context was also new to me. I managed to track down a New York Times article from the 1960s with described decorating hats the same way so I wonder if the use of the word has fallen out of fashion now - makes it extra period accurate then!
In respect of the clothing descriptions, yeah those are tricky. Often in magazines and booklets etc they’ll have shortened the phrases to save word count, which makes the sentences clunky and unnatural, but not strictly incorrect if that makes sense? So while the meaning comes across, it’s not what you would say or write naturally (like bullet points on a presentation).
I think the clothing description thing stuck out for me because the rest of your prose was so deliberate and flowed nicely!
English is tricky and there’s so many like random ~vibe~ rules that don’t really make sense. I’d be happy to sense check or proofread!!
.
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it is helpful! thank you so much for your help!! <3
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sorry! fixed
(again messing up with new variables for the next chapter)
Will there be poly in this game? Or will we be forced to choose just one love interest at some point? (Totally not asking because I was enamoured with both the ghoul and the artist and, as an indecisive little shit, I want to have them both.)
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I am also curious but unlike this person, I’m totally asking because I was enamored with both the ghoul and the artist and want both as an indecisive little shit.
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I mean, come on, the ghoul shouldn’t even count, since he’s the dog.
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Also, off topic, but I love how in the Roulet romance scene, you choose whether you’re the top or bottom with either “I am worshipped” or “I subjugate”. It’s such a fun way to make those choices.
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It’s only natural for us to want many worshipers.
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OMG, they all obsessive especially the non-RO, that rhy heir 
want to have children with a god…
My honest reaction reading that last chapter part :“Absolute Cinema”
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It’s cool how many different things you can input during the tea leaf reading, Dawn certainly seems to know more than she lets on
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I usually just lurk and rarely leave comments, but your work is simply too good not to say something.Your prose is absolutely gorgeous.
A lot of stories inspired by cosmic horror rely on familiar imagery, but your writing actually feels alien. The narration has this almost delirious, stream-of-consciousness quality that perfectly fits the MC (who’s that King). It’s poetic, unsettling, and strangely beautiful all at once, especially on the Actor/Actress route.
On top of that, the choices are incredibly expressive, and I love how much freedom there is to define the MC’s personality. The ROs are also wonderfully written—they’re memorable from the moment they’re’re introduced and already feel like complicated, fully realized people.
This is genuinely one of the strongest demos I’ve read in a long time. I really loved this update and can’t wait to see where the story goes next. (And the thing happened with N after the old theater drama was genuinely fascinating and weirdly attractive lol. Actually I love every interaction between our king and ROs.)
Also, any chance we’ll get a poly route? I love how both R and H get a little jealous whenever the other gets too close to our King. It’s funny.
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thank you so much! <3 but no, no poly route, sorry
Shame, but the writing is good enough for me to make two separate runs to romance each of the characters I like separately once it comes out fully. Besides, it’s a good excuse to experience more of the story and the different paths.